There's a bright golden haze in the blog.

Expenditure of Political Capitol

2009-07-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hello all. How are you, I'm good, thanks.

I'd like to bend you ear a little bit about the expenditure of political capitol on the Iran situation by the Obama administration and, as an extension, why the rules of the game HAVE NOT changed dramatically under his watch and why that is.

First, I think its important to keep in mind that there was/is a historical precedent to what is currently happening, not only in Iran (several times) but also in places all over the world. Situations, political and not alike have been dealt with in ruthless ways since the beginning of time and since the beginning of time people have been indifferent to it. The contemporary era is no different.

There is a nuance today that did not exist 100 years ago though, the existence of a hegemony (USA) with the unquestionable power to intervene militarily if it so choose....in a quick manner or at least a people who believe this is true (which says something to the political climate of this country). That is a framework to start with a people who believe that as an endgame they could just invade. As someone great (not American) put it with great power, comes great responsibility. So, you might ask, perhaps we should begin to think about how America has spent this leverage that they have wielded. A regression analysis in this context would reveal,I believe, the reactionary and seemingly arbitrary nature of the American people body politic. When it comes to Geo-political military action, the American people are always ready to weigh in.

Though the shockingly low voter turn out in recent elections by major demographics would give most the impression that indifference runs rampant here, anyone who watches MSNBC would understand quite the opposite is true The difference is the American people need the right spark to get involved. Passion is selective.

Whether its the combustible nature of the situations or the historical role that war has had in our society there is never a shortage of American opinion on military action, it seems. The arbitrary trends that I mentioned previously, that I believe we would find in our analysis would not manifest in when say, deciding the response our government receives in regards to, say, regulation of tire wheel well widths (something that contributes mightily to vehicle safety, the same vehicles that are the leading cause of death for many segments of our population) but rather they would appear in arbitrary way. You might think people would care about the previous regulation because it affects many american deaths, but the relationship between deaths and policy to get Americans to care is correlative not causation. So what is it, if deaths, money or the like do not necessarily ensure that something will enter the national dialogue?

Suggesting, of course, that the media has something to do with it, seems at this point, to almost be a scapegoat. Instead, lets look at the data and see if we can draw some gross conclusions. Here are some global situations America has cared about recently.

Cared:
-Iraq
-Iran
-N. Korea, I guess.

...and with some trivial omission the list ends there. However, the list that went uncared for is staggering long rife with vacuous political situations and human suffering with death counts in the thousands. Ranging from Darfur to pockets of Oceania, why does America care and how do you get them to do it? (This article speaks nothing to does getting America to care mean something positive happens, that is another topic altogether).

*****

In this first installment I'd like to discuss "death fatigue." A straightforward concept that revolves around status qous.

Most Americans accept several things as true, and perhaps everyone does. Yankees are overpaid, there will traffic, etc. Has sub-human conditions on certain pockets of the world fallen into this category? Consider the following.

Currently there are many regimes that teeter on toppled, remaining in power only by threats of violence, several civil wars rage on the continent of Africa and the sub-continent. Additionally, even within the G8 there are shadow casting threats of things to come. China not only engages in some of the most wide scale human rights violations on record but also runs their country with something between an iron fist and a curtain, with Internet sites blocked and state controlled media...they clip on America's heels well-funded and future thinking. Russia's primary leadership remained in place, despite Putin's eligibility sunset, a push that put them squarely within the context of Iran, opposition leaders were jailed or targeted, but this does not cause the FOX news hysteria that so many other crisis do.

So what's the deal?

Death fatigue plays a large part. Americans have accepted certain things as true and no amount of media coverage can make them sexy again. Otherwise, the media could invent stories that sell papers (and believe though they try they fail by enlarge, newspapering is NOT that easy) Take for instance the faded star of celebrity, is it front page news if Burt Reynolds is on a beach somewhere (there is probably a better example out there) in contrast with Brad Pitt or someone comparable?

The Geo-political situation is analogous. Is it front page news when CHINA does something UNDEMOCRATIC? Of course not, this is a status quo, that story is faded. Unfortunately the same is true for the more dire situations involving loss of life and liberty to more extreme degrees.

However, if Burt Reynolds scores a hit movie, then his beach side activities may be more intriguing...or, for instance, if Patrick Swayze starts a very public battle with cancer, suddenly the populous cares.

Iran is no different. Holocaust an illusion manufactured by the west? Old hat. Protests in the streets of a locked down country? That is something new. Thailand tigers being murdered or doing murdering? I'm sorry but as far as our populous is concerned that is Burt on the beach pre- career surging hit...no one cares, but once something happens to spark our red, white and blue imagination we can start to care about other things. In Iran this country has a renewed interest in the Shah, for example.

It is time for the American people to realize they drive what is on the media with their clicks and boredom, and this author will join the chorus of people begging Americans to look at themselves in the mirror and make the dedication to care about a life the same no matter the context. Faded or not.

Either that, or we should realize the same thing media exec's have known for years, sex sells. Maybe if the Obama administration can involve bikini's in Health Care reform we might get through the House.

****

This is the way it was....before Change We Could Believe In. Obama did change some things, essentially riding the same wave that allowed post-everything artists to get away with pushing borders. Obama was/is post politics and can claim anything divisive as politics of the past...and has. However, as much might as that gives him he still has to pay the same piper that every past president has....the American people. Political capitol is the, as I will talk about it, the amount/capacity a president has to "force," or lead the country in unpopular or unclear directions by saying essentially "I've got this," or "Trust me, we need this."

Obama, as wielder of reform and even, perversely, by inheriting such a dire situation has earned and De facto claimed an unprecedented amount of political capitol. (RE: Leveraging reform expenditures on health care reforms and the American people going WTF?) The downside: we are in unprecedented bad times. For a democratic to earn this leverage, someone before them had to screw things up, and we did that in spades.

There are situations that must be remedied to continue to OPERATE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and not all of them are going to be popular as we have seen and there may be more lurking of the next corner (anything can upset a shallow recovery). Thus, Obama can not spend his political capitol on a matter that is of not direct importance to the business of getting this country afloat (he has to get results to stay in office and he, and everyone else, knows this). That is his presidency will be measured.

So, because Iran does not directly threaten America at this juncture (i.e. they do not foreclose homes) it is unlikely you will see actions past a public admonishment. Sad, and this author wishes for an opportunity to see this president govern in a time where desperation is not the Modus Operandi, but alas, that day is not today. GIven the right time, he could move on this situation in a heart beat, something that would be fun for even the slightest advocate of human rights.

In the meantime, I guess we'll keep hoping for nurses in bikinis.

Shaq/Dream

2009-01-30T09:43:00.001-08:00

Classic.

2009-01-28T12:37:00.001-08:00

Business LeBron and Nicole Scherzinger from Jay Hill on Vimeo.

Pop Music.

2009-01-28T12:34:00.001-08:00

Lip Dub Pop Muzik from fredasterical on Vimeo.

Further enforcing the truism that anything put to this song, is addicting.

Quick(ee) HItters

2009-01-27T17:59:00.000-08:00

A few thoughts:

-The Gdrive is on its way, cloud(s) begins to precipitate. (Gdrive Link # Mashable.com)

-I don't understand the upside of Valentine's day. Granted, showing your respective date/mate/crate (the latter if your into that kind of thing), you care is not such a bad thing (Note:Chris Paul has, as of this writing rejected EVERY SINGLE ONE of my care baskets), but forced purchase and labor..how about setting aside a different day that is special for your lady/man/crate?

-This is the best Restaurant in Syracuse thus far. Which is, for those of you counting, like being the pair of Hakeem Olajuwon's (Olajuwon is in spell check, THAT is progress!) at Wal-Mart.

....Now I have to go not watch this.

-AJS

Andy's Android

2008-12-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am three weeks in to owning the new G1, and while tech blogging is something that I haven't really done in the past, since I have fallen in love with the phone (and as we will see later, really the software stack) I feel obliged to do a bit of proselytizing. First, because I have your best interests at heart (audible guffaw ensues) and second, because this may be a stock entry in all .blogger accounts, you wouldn't know would you? (You probably need to know Google owns this blogging client to get that joke).

As will be dealt with later it is a common misconception about the device itself, and perhaps amongst the coveted (my) demographic where it is most pervasive, that is the most confusing to the tech neophyte amongst us. So, assuming you still exist (how is North Dakota?) this starter-graph is for you. ANDROID and the G1 ARE DIFFERENT ENTITIES FOR MANY REASONS.

*Recover*

A (probably unnecessary) primer/exercise of egotism:
-Android is Google's open source, free SDK, mobile (for now) operating system that has been on everyone's mind since late in 2007. (See the timeline here.) This Operating System (OS) is the core, and basis for the G1 and all future "Gphones."
-The G1 is a phone devo-ed by HTC in coordination for Android's release as the vehicle to run the OS that Google has developed.

....Essentially, the "Gphone," as has been bandied about, is a bit of a misnomer. While the phone was done in coordination with Google, essentially it was made to harness the power of the 1.0 release of Android. The buzz around the "Gphone," is a manifestation (perhaps an outgrowth) of the current fanboy status of the Iphone in my opinion(In the effort of full disclose I am of these boys). Discussed mainly as a competitor to the Iphone, the market (and us) got extremely caught up in anticipating THE HARDWARE (ie the phone) that was to give us Android. We were told more about the Gphone than Android. This was a natural reaction, chiefly because we have bought phones for the phone sake, not the software's sake unto this point (Save for, arguably, the Iphone & Blackberry, hence the popularity therein).

Thus, by holding the G1 in your hand you hold a phone holding the true fruits of Google's labor (Android) and, for the following reasons, that is a beautiful thing.

1.) Why Android is such an interesting proposition, as I see it.

Remarkably, there seems to be those amongst you that seem to be indifferent to my various rantings and rambles and while I do advocate ~~hurting them~~ thinking freely, if you do find yourself in this slender (I assure you) segment of the world's population RETREAT! The following are very Author-centric thoughts.

Android is incredibly intriguing for several reasons and some of them are why you may not be all that excited about Android out of the box, but should be thrilled by the fact that it is out in the wild/in your hands.
A.) Android is completely open source. While at first the code source was not available, now it is. Android is completely open for devo and FOR FREE (there, I said it twice). This is exciting in strong opposition to the Draconian regulation of the Apple App store that has led to articles like this, truly sad indeed. Android, and by extension, the HTC Dream do not distinguish between core and third party applications. What does this mean for you? Well, if you don't like the functionality of User Interface (UI) of how your phone dials out, download something else and use that. Don't like how you send texts? Download something. Surely, you see the trend but this is just the start. True, traditionally that is exciting, but what, perhaps, is the most exciting is what is not yet thought of for the phone (deep I know). No phone/OS has allowed Developers, for free mind you, to simply re-write the entire phone using all of it's power. For lack of a better example, App's could exist that simply turn the G1 into a television...there really is no limit. Score one for the Gilmore Girls.

B.) This means that the phone that you took out of the box, while final and complete, is really a product in beta. As I will admit below, some of the native app's and process are not blindingly fun or powerful, however it was released this way on purpose. THEY CAN ALL BE REBUILT. Google, unlike Apple, understands that long-term growth and sustainability come from ingratiating yourself to the big players...i.e. big business and software and hardware designers:
a.) The Iphone is a wonderful product in the proud tradition of all recent Apple products. Complete seamless and intuitive UI with hardware second to none. That is why I am currently typing on a mac. However, by marketing to end-consumers with sexy high-end products, while extremely profitable right now and being the OVERALL business goal, of course, this does leave Apple open to the most simple of product ethos. They (the consumers) will eventually buy something else. Of course, I concede that Apple could easily and foreseeability continue to make products this wonderful and to innovate. I know they are hyper-aware of this principal, but their hands are tied in some respects. Their handsets are fun to use, wonderful but while still being adopted by business' at an astounding rate, they are not yet integral.
b.) How do you get integral? Just ask Microsoft. How do you think they have been able to hang (dominate) around so long despite everyone hating them with reckless abandon? Its simple, they are rooted in. They are Wall Street (notably not Detroit) they cannot fail, they must be used because they are so inherent to the computing environment. I believe Google knows this/is taking that route with Android. Of course it is fun to use, etc. but the real appeal,right now, is for developers. A free SDK and OS backed by Google. This is exciting for free (and in the future once the Android Market becomes proprietary) a person/company can rise to star status with no shackles on computing resources.
c.) This is also appealing to the hardware designers depending on the BIG IF. That if is, and the entire success turns on this, the software must develop critical mass of use. To demand apps and functionality there must be users, but if it gets there (and this is why it may have been a misstep for them to leave end users so aggressively wanting more on the initial release) the appeal to manufacturers is large. Developing phones in the past has meant software devo issues. No longer, make a phone, flavor Android to you liking (which in this postulate has millions of believers) and you have a product.....this is an invaluable. This gaining of ground and staying power seems to be enhanced by Google's reputation and financials.
d.) A minor point (but not in the long term sustainability of the OS) is the adoption by business. RIM capitalized on being a professional grade smartphone that syncs well and is functional. Conceivably, why not Android? ~~You~~ your IT department can flavor Android to build around your business processes, etc. This is exciting, right Accounts Payable?

2.) Next,a scatter-shot review of the HTC Dream, G1 with Google.

It is a fun gadget to use and the layers of functionality keep pouring themselves out as I use the phone. It seems to grow in intuitiveness with every use. Essentially, as you would anticipate, the real strength of the phone is in the power of Google. Their strong presence in the Cloud is unmatched and perhaps insurmountable (sorry Mobile Me).

THE SOFTWARE, et. al.
Set-up was a, pardon the pun, dream. You simply sign in with your Google account (if you don't have one, set-up is slightly longer as it is compulsory + you want to if you own the phone) and configuration takes about 30 seconds. The phone comes pre-loaded with Gmail, Google Maps, Google Docs, Google Contacts, etc. If you are already using these, lucky you. If you weren't, like me, good luck making the switch. The migration assistant/process from anything (notably Exchange) to Gmail and the subsequent contacts is pretty horrible, but do-able. There are several FAQ's and tutorials over at www.talkandriod.com and www.likehacker.com which are two of my favorite sites.
The push from the web to your phone is what is simply stunning and will get you to swear your allegiance. Often I receive Gmail's on my phone seconds before my comp and when you read them or reply to them in either location it is reflected on the other. Perfectly synced.
An Additional cool-ity. If you are calling someone whom you have emailed, and their contact info on Gmail lists their phone number, the G1 imports all of the information INCLUDING their Gchat photo when you are calling, pretty neat.

FEATURES:
Standard with a 1(one)gig MicroSD card (upgradable to 16) the slot is located on the "chin," of the phone. There is a trackball in concert with 4 other buttons bringing the total count to, a slimmer than the number would indicate, five. The phone is nothing if it is not "usable," from all angles. It has touch-screen, trackball, and many more ways to navigate. This may seem cluttered but I find it pretty easy to navigate and almost over-ergonomic.
QWERTY key board is full and hard and the slide out function is sturdy with the keys a bit soft and perhaps too flush with the homeboard.
Camera is 3 MP and functions mainly in landscape mode which compels you to hold the phone like a real camera by virtue of the button location. This is a nicety. Given the right light it takes some decent photos like:

(..ain't she beautiful?)

There is no soft-key keyboard yet but several apps have one for certain functions and it is really only a matter of time until it comes around, until then, it is not missed by this user. I preferred the G1 over the Iphone, initially anyway, because of hard keyboard.
The device's 3g network is spotty as of yet, I am assured (like I would be) that it is being upgraded as we speak. Which may be T-com speak for "up-yours," (which is what T-Mobile translates to from the German) but a guy can hope.
The touch screen itself is REMARKABLY crisp and responsive. A "long-press," is the equivalent of a right click and thus there IS (drum roll ) copy and past functionality.

Overall I find the phone to be user-friendly, exciting and intuitive. I think you'll find it this way also, but the real value is in the future. I understand sitting on the sidelines for now. Unless you want to Google Talk with me, which I assure you, is not pleasant.

-AJS

Heartless!!!

2008-11-23T14:51:00.001-08:00

Heartless from kwest on Vimeo.

McCartney & Youth unmasked...revealed to have died hair.

2008-11-18T09:48:00.001-08:00

Fireman interview:

Ants in pants (hard drives).

2008-11-17T17:28:00.000-08:00

Combo Apple bug Web 2.0 and Google App Engine, yes please.

-------------------

Quoting "Open Rader,"

Open Radar: using social networking to squash Apple bugs

By Erica Sadun | Published: November 16, 2008 - 05:16PM CT

It's always great when you see developers take matters into their own hands and turn ideas into something new and real. This weekend, developer Dave Dribin tweeted that he'd love to see a public rdar database. Rdar, better known as Radar, is Apple's internal bug reporting and tracking system. A big problem with Radar is that it is not publicly searchable or open in any other way. This frustrates developers who want to know if Apple is working on a particular bug and see what the status of those bugs might be.

After tweeting back and forth, Tim Burks decided to build an Open Radar database. He set to work creating a Google App Engine site that allows developers to submit copies of their Radar bug reports and search through Radar reports from other devs.

Open Radar (github source) is not a replacement for bugreport.apple.com. It is, instead, a developer community intended to supplement your rdar filings. You cannot post any confidential information or bug reports regarding prerelease software but you can keep other developers up-to-date on your nonconfidential enhancements and fix requests. The site basically offers three functions at this time: you can submit a Radar bug, you can see a list of Radars you have submitted, and you can browse through the Radars others have added.

The site already hosts dozens of open and duplicate bugs and is growing rapidly. Jonathan 'Wolf' Rentzsch is working on a Radar scraper that automatically uploads reports to OpenRadar. The open-source code can be found at his SVN repo.

Open Radar also offers a JSON-based API for anyone who wants to integrate searches into web pages. That interface is still under development and is due to break at 1,000 radars, although one surmises it will be fixed before hitting that number.

So why is Radar so secure to begin with? Apple cannot discuss upcoming or unannounced features and bug and enhancement handling; often the way Apple responds to Radar requests is tightly linked to this knowledge. Opening Radar internally might give away too many hints.

The developers of Open Radar hope that their system will increase rather than decrease the number of duplicate bug requests. For important bugs, massively duplicated Radar reports get noticed. Apple treats duplicates like a voting system; i.e. the Digg system of bugg fixx requests. Becoming aware of ongoing bugs allows developers to help vote up problems they think are critically important. In this, Open Radar hopes to utilize its social network aspect to promote change at Apple.

Open Radar is geared toward both the iPhone and desktop Cocoa communities, and members of both groups are encouraged to join. If you'd like to contribute to the project or just request new features, stop by the Open Radar Wiki at github. Even though the project was just put together in the last 24 hours, it's already gaining momentum, members, and interest. You can follow a good deal of the ongoing discussion by tweetscanning Open Radar on Twitter.

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20081116-open-radar-using-social-networking-to-squash-apple-bugs.html, Accessed Nov. 17, 2008 @ 8:30 pm. File in house with author.

Just for Mac's (ATTN: everyone from 1923: I mean Computers not men).

2008-11-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

Above is a screen shot to the new Browser App for Mac, Cruz.

Although not getting paid, clearly by the level of writing herein, I highly recommend the new hottness. There are some drawbacks, as with any beta release of something open source (re: releasing skeleton and having users build it up, etc.) but the coolest features are built right in and are highly usable.

First, as located in the right screen tilt, is the BrowsaBrowsa plug in. Fully user-oriented these task pains auto-refresh. "Why is this any better than tabs?"
...Good question, because Cruz has a tabs feature built in this really is an enhancement, or icing on cake. The full goodies aren't really harvested less you twitter or ebay frequently (re: something that needs constant monitoring and refreshing) however another more ubiquitous use is that of monitoring RSS feeds plus the GUI is nice. Further though, it is clearly the first stretching of legs that will become more and more viable.

In the lower screen is the money shot, the CSS compressor. For a discussion of CSS one might look here. A great tool and truly navigable (also very slick looking) this makes migration around cumbersome, content heavy sites...like CNN's blog pages or something, much more manageable and friendly. This way, no one has to miss a single word Wold Blitzer every commits to the 'net, and you thought you wouldn't live to see the day.

True, as it sits now the beta has flaws. Mainly they lie, as I see them, in the bookmarking functionality...which is limited (mesozoic) at best, but being open source and only in V 0.1, we're still looking pretty good.

Currently, it is a fun secondary browser (if for no other reasons than, as mentioned above, you cannot import your bookmarks from your primary browser...which is a real drag) that is nice to have when you're cruising content, bidding or coding. It looks to be a framework upon which something truly impressive could one day sit (me).

-AJS

DO NOT WATCH.

2008-10-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

A little something dug up from the "Leave Britney alone annals."

2008-10-29T18:55:00.000-07:00

Thought I might drop some things off from my beat lab; truly an amateur foray but fun for me so back off.

MIA-Pitchfork Interview

2008-10-15T16:38:00.000-07:00

A downdate, an empty plate, an aggregate

2008-10-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

Hello,

It was difficult for me to get up this morning as it seems recently, with the advent of holidays celebrated (by other people) and weekend's spent OOT (out of town) I had, to some degree, grown unaccustomed to my own lifestyle. Plus no one ever really gets used to drinking Henny out 'da bottle.

Certainly an oddity, despite its frequency in my life, it feels good none-the-less to settle back in have a sandwich and ~~watch Grease~~ watch football. Though today drudged on, books read, things highlighted, lessons learned, hair highlighted, I thought I might take a second to make late observations.

I know you probably noticed all of these but I was busy guest blogging for NASA so I didn't really have time:

-John McCain's stylist is adept at making his no hair, look like hair. Ex:

.....if you will note, even he doesn't understand how they do it. I suppose it is 2008.

- "Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency." The proceeding is section 8 from the bailout. When one talks about sneaking some legislation through, under hostile auspices, to get a desired result....this can't be what they are talking about. I understand the need for KOYH(King of Your House) Paulson to be able to act broadly, but this language is nothing if anti-political. I rarely use this blog for any cause, well anything at all but hear me America....do not let this bill run through unchecked. I would want an oversight committee if I handed my mother this much money.

-What the hell happened to this; Dr. David Thorpe's masterpiece? Let's all raise a glass to him.

Qapla'

Drewbot 4000.

*Sorry no editing.

Tite jeans & Tight genes.

2008-09-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

ATTN: All Hipsters
Re: John McCain is Harlem World....

...This is a fairly rough sketch of what is rolling around Johnny Mac's daughter's Ipod. This is interesting for several reasons. One, she claims to put this on (your not going to believe this) JOHN'S IPOD. Which is actually made out of Cold-War era soil from Prussia. Second, you might actually like these songs, BEWARE.

So to all you hipsters. Remember this is what the establishment is listening to. Probably in addition to laughing at your tax-returns.

Without further ado (I'm always tempted to make ado after saying that, but I'll spare you):

# Song Artist Album
1 A Million Miles From Home Ultraviolet A New Day
2 Beautiful, Dirty, Rich Lady GaGa Beautiful, Dirty, Rich - Single
3 Nature of the Experiment Tokyo Police Club A Lesson In Crime
4 Kingdom of Doom The Good, The Bad & The Queen Kingdom of Doom - Single
5 Sad Song Au Revoir Simone The Bird of Music
6 Ain't That Peculiar (With Sly Stone & El DeBarge) George Clinton and His
7 It's Not Over Yet Klaxons Myths of the Near Future
8 Golden Years David Bowie Best of Bowie
9 Brooklyn Mos Def Black On Both Sides
10 That's Not My Name The Ting Tings We Started Nothing
11 Now, Now St. Vincent Marry Me
12 Lions and Tigers Asobi Seksu Citrus
13 My Adidas Run-DMC Ultimate Run-DMC
14 The Comeback Shout Out Louds Howl Howl Gaff Gaff
15 Grounds for Divorce Elbow The Seldom Seen Kid
16 Portland, Oregon Loretta Lynn Van Lear Rose
17 Waking Up In Vegas Katy Perry One of the Boys
18 Buena Morphine Cure for Pain
19 Bad Reputation Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Bad Reputation
20 Wearing and Tearing Led Zeppelin The Complete Led Zeppelin (Remastered)
21 Dinner At Eight In the Suburbs All-Time Quarterback All-Time Quarterback
22 Passin Me By (Hot Chip RMX) [feat. The Pharcyde] The Pharcyde
23 Spoon Cibbo Matteo Stereotype A
24 What Else Is There? Royksopp The Understanding (Limited Edition)

New Ipod!

2008-09-06T22:35:00.001-07:00

In "case," you haven't seen the rumor pic.

Sorry for the post dealy, Google was having difficulty. Which is kind of like Snickers having chocolate problems.

...as a side poll, was that the worst joke this blog has seen yet

A slam dunk for Web Crunk.

2008-08-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Read how Mark Cuban got it right, for a better pre-read, Check out "Munching on Internet TV vs. TV is the main course."

...Click Here.

Despite the respite....

2008-08-11T19:35:00.001-07:00

Here is a website that merits your attention. Despite the muddled reviews and lack of longitudinal studies....perhaps this is your bag of tea.

http://www.kiva.org/

FlyPaper

2008-08-06T09:12:00.001-07:00

LIghting Fires and Fighting Liars

2008-07-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hello World,

We've spoken previously about the potential for the web to evolve past it's current format. With the innervation of the Web 2.0, I think that we all believed that this was upon us. Social networking, the power of groups, this was the true, harness-able power of the Internet as it looked three years ago (Someone faints)...

How/Where does that stand today? Is web 2.0 upon us or not, or perhaps, will it ever? I think that these are legitimate questions. Let's discuss and dispense with some of the more trivial architectural components resultantly and then perhaps delve deeper down into backbone-user-end type things.

I suppose the first thing that I should note is my definition of trivial architectural net-stuff. I strongly believe that my definition would differ drastically from most Internet users. While back-end server capacity, data break-up storage and throwaway Gig are all important they are not what truly drives the Internet, the user does and always will. This is, what I believe to be, the crux of the Internet conundrum. A recent Chicago Tribune (notably the RedEye) article mentioned, to understandable dismay, what exactly is the popularity of The Facebook (and the like) derived from? The classic questions, why is what is popular, popular?

From his, again understandable, position, it seems facebook is simply a place to post your weekend party pictures and look at people whom you barely know (Which by the way, rules in and of itself). Furthermore, there is a similar befuddlement among the more stodgy of the tech community. While it is common to understand the depth and "hottness," of social networking on the web currently, there is very little understanding of the why's. The development of the web has followed a tried and regrettable formula articulated by Bruce Campbell about movie/casting executives choosing actors (this also applies to internet executives and the internet). It moves in four phases, and I included the internet parrallel beneath each one.

- "Who the hell is Joe Shmoe?"
(net version)-"What the hell is social networking?"

-"Get me Joe Shmoe!"
(net version)-"Get me some of this social networking!"

-"Get me a Joe Shmoe type!"
(net version)-"Get me the next evolution of social networking!"

-"Who the hell is Joe Shmoe?"
(net version)-"What the hell WAS social networking, anyway?"

Therefore, I will, in the following order, do two things for the very first time. I will explain the popularity of Facebook and then I will talk about why Web Developers are sort of going about things backwards and why we will continue to see "Mark Zuckerberg's" (ie Non-Professionals with either extensive tech savy or ability to partner to extensive web tech) back awkwardly and frusratingly into Internet history, and, consequently, the monetary reward therein.

There is, reader, very classic and simple reasons as to Facebook's popularity and they probably need no explanation to you, but here's how I see it:

1.) Leveraged extremely well-Facebook was, let's face it, a Me2 site insomuch as it was predated not only by friendster and MySpace but also a tumult of other Social Sites. While the popularity of these sites was not at the blazing level it is now it did allow Facebook several advantages.
-It could discern best practices from successful AND failed sites, integrating them into their interface.
-The business concept was legitimized by other, larger firms, backed entry whom had galloped past BEP.
-They could start small and niche (pseudo-beta) with a college market....which had several advantages into itself, by virtue of planning or mistake.
-College, at that time, were the first primary internet usage generation to come though University. They were/are first movers and quickly adaptable
-They were looking, at this time in the net, for something TO DO with this beat called the Internet.
-College students are quite well-connected both laterally and vertically. Laterally, they are a highly social psychograph and vertically they have almost unavoidable connections (quickly) to both High School students (down) and the business world (either with lateral internships or vertical jobs-post graduation)
-Also of note is that I am convinced Facebook accidentily backed into this leveraging, but someone will ALWAYS back into this type og leveraging as the internet is constantly shooting ideas, one of them will always find the right timing, by sheer virture of volume and nature of leveraging, this is why we will continue to see (and hate) Mark Zuckerberg's.

2.)As with almost every other classically successful business concept Facebook took a need, in this case a dark need hardly anyone enumerated, cased it in a legitimate packaging and EXECUTED it extremely well.
-Social connectivity is great, but boiled down, people like to look at other people in contrast with them. This is one of the basic principles of social interaction.
-The execution was fast and deliberate Facebook was and remains an extremely flexible company whom receives, by the nature of its business (and the empowerment of the communication bulk given to the user...i.e.Business' culture) reacts quickly to the massive amount of user feedback they receive daily.
-Also notable here is the loyalty of the user, most users are quite content to stay with Facebook and report problems while waiting on their mending as opposed to seeking out other means to socially connect.
-It is a natural oligopoly.....people (for connectivity reasons) need to be where the most other people are to connect with. Law of permutations.

These reasons stand as a combination of business concept and straight user remarks. The latter is what I feel is discounted/ignored strongly by the majority of web entrepreneurs. They know tech, they solve problems with tech. Problem is, that's their problem.

Simply put, I can't tell you how many meetings I've been in when one person or another remarks "Is there ever a rhyme or a reason to what gets and remains popular,"..(obvious paraphrase), and I will say it is, on the surface, quite like that. My web philoshhpy is quite simple and that is content drives technology. This is something that I think the Web 2.0 allows for, but it hasn't delivered. Use means dollars which pushes R&D (duh). There is a virtually unending list of web start ups that put their eggs in proprietary Web 2.0 technology (www.muckster.com..for starters.) That then missed and are gruesomely under-preforming.

Why is that? Simply put, you can't drive the mass with tech. If it's great you may and if it's in concert with the leverages I mentioned above with Facebook you stand a better chance. However, you stand a much better chance building with existing tech and believing in your concept. Users want functionality and ease of use, which rarely is some new, blinding technology. Too often it is a simple thing (making us all scratch our heads) that utilizes/manipulates existing tech in a new way that allows users greater and more powerful usability.

So please, devo-er's. Solve user problems, not architecture's, unless you want to go broke.* Do not attempt to re-invent the wheel. In fact, there are still several largely profitable tire manufacturers as we speak. Ask them their business concept. The web is business. A classic business, made different by execution and stream-lined cost NOT by being a different thing entirely.

*The author of this article is broke.

2008-07-08T11:59:00.001-07:00

Robbing Peter to pay everyone.

2008-04-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

What follows is a multi-part, largely stream of consciousness story. Let's see where it goes.

******************************

Hey my name is Paul, and it was tough to imagine it and I guess even if I did that I wouldn't have understood, then at least, what exactly it meant. I am half-convinced that everything that happens to someone is a hint at what happens later. Take these:

1.) When I was 11 year old I was Ashley Ruer's birthday party, though I thought nothing of it at the time, when I didn't get a turn on the bouncy castle, I was told that I needed to be more "childlike and aggressive." Man, talk about your good advice.

2.) Usually when I order coffee I'm asked if I want room for cream, however last Sunday, after ordering coffee downtown and not being asked if I wanted room for cream, I asked why the no ask. The answer? "I dunno, you looked like you didn't care."

3.) I have been broken up with three times in my life, the mother of all precursor/hint situations, and every time I told "I should have seen this coming." Does that happen to everyone?

These are just tid-bits, but isn't everything a hint at something else? These/that are the kind of half-cocked thoughts that are just enough to make me seem interesting while knowing, deeply, that I am full of shit. Which makes me great at parties. Still though, I guess I find comfort in it. Typically, I can lose myself in something else (re:parties) long enough to forget it and revel in the shit. Sound gross? It's bearable with the right soundtrack.

About now I'm looking for traction. I can't help it. Avoidable? It ain't. Remember the hints I just mentioned? Life is one big hint that you need to get one and lately mine hasn't been much of one. Does that sound pathetic? I'm really not one much for introspection, but happiness is something I can't help but be into, I think. Emptiness always seems worse when it's discovered by the way, just found that out. You walk up to the grand canyon and you're like "Wow, that's a big hole," and you're okay with that you can walk away. But open up your fridge where you could have sworn there was milk only to find a half-used ketchup? Well let me say, that's not as easily recoverable from. Then my friend, you're a dipshit and you know it to your core.

I'm not in a funk, like I said before, I'm just in a fog. The one where you doubt your talents and likes. Like listen to this, yesterday I was in the Jewel and I saw someone, a man, well-dressed and buying a ten-dollar bottle of wine. Before I even caught myself I assumed this is an everyday practice for him. I envied the routine. I envied the simple satiation. I can drink a million bottles of wine (can/have) and I still never get that. I guess you just have to find what does satisfy you. That guy has. He loves to go home to his recent wife, who came from pseudo-money and introduced him to wine. She pushed him to do better and he actually got the raise he asked for. Life's been better since, he's more full filled and she loves the man in her life more now that she can respect him for asking and succeeding. They have a nice apartment but they use everything. There is no room that people look at. They own leather couches but they're worn down from sitting and dogs jumping up. Nice flatware, but they use it to eat. Even the model boat on the mantle seems to already have seen it's fair share of seas. Man, I would love to build model boats.

After that Jewel trip I went home and did 23 minutes of the 45 minute In-Home Yoga DVD with some mildly attractive women on the cover I bought for 4.95 (over $5 and it would have nixed the deal) at TJ-Maxx last week and decided that I'd rather just not be flexible.

Enter: My job. I work downtown in the loop (hence the coffee purchase) in a job with a moderate amount of responsibility. The people under me like me, for the most part, but really just because I don't care enough to enforce the company standards that would make them like me less but make them more effective. As a department we are mildly productive but I don't think anyone really cares about corporate support structures we consult on. You know how everyone in business is supposed to hate meetings? I think that's bullshit. The reason why there are so many meetings is because everyone loves them. At least it's a break up to the day. In a profession where people actually talk about their mine sweeper scores, anything is better. Meetings at least allow interaction and I try to have them as often as possible. Really to create a false sense of teamwork but also to help everyone feel like they make decisions. Hey, if it helps them to believe that deciding to charge 45.00 dollars an hour consultancy fees to pharmaceuticals versus non-profits will help the company, rock on.

Half-Hearted, half a year, half dressed, half apologetic.

2008-03-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

Hey there sports fan,

As these withered, ghastly pale (does anyone get a finger tan?....NOTE: Somewhere someone in 10th grade just claimed to have one after "a night where we only have watch 10 Things I Hate About You) tap the keys once more I am reminded of the man whom drowned in the river attempting to save his reflection. Was it more prudent to let this blog die? Is there an natural life and death that "lived"? Probably, but in blog, as in life, I electrocute dead things in order to re-animate them, Ricky Martin....call me. Plus, in order to have lived, something written probably needed "readers," and showing everything I write to my air conditioning unit, sadly, doesn't count. By that metric, this blog is still fetal.

It feels good to be back, and now older, wiser and with less punch/wit, the first question that would definitely be begged is "Hey, whats the point of writing?"

That's a good question, probably deeper than you knew to begin. I think I am breathing new life into this blog for several reasons:

1.) Haters getting sprayed like afro-sheen.

2.) Getting rid of evidence.

3.) It is difficult to believe i don't have anything relevant to say anymore (which is a wonder considering the overwhelming amount of actual physical evidence that exists to the contrary).

4.)$$

~To quote Wes Anderson "What's wrong with you?"

......."Let me think about that for a while, and I'll tell you next time I see you."

***************************************

Winds have shifted lately, and as a result so have the tides (and Calista Flockhart's walking direction; does anyone make fun of her anymore?) To what could one contribute John McCain's ascendancy from the ashes of middle of the road politics to the top of the GOP?I strongly believe that answer was, to a large degree, already out of his hands. Not unlike the seemingly pre-ordained rise of Senator Obama, Mr. McCain was the benefactor of an alignment of the stars rivaling that earlier dude's night in 10th grade watching a movie. With every candidate trying to be the archetype of Republicanism it seemed Mr. McCain was allowed to flourish in what he does best. Namely, the "God Damn it, I'm John McCain," approach, which does have its merit. I have lobbied for years to have that on the fill in your name sticky name tags people wear at events. This approach was actually invented by Denise Crosby. That's a fact.

What were the American (republicans) looking for in a candidate? Well, I think that is largely to be determined, but what could one discern from the primary results? At first glean, a couple of things, Probably chief among them was the discernible split within the party and the dissipation of the "religious right,"as a voice that commanded attention. While a lot of commenter's/people smarter than I, maintain that Huckabee's entire candiacy really rode on the tide of these "election changers," I strongly believe he simply rode the last waves of an engineered force, doomed for marginalization.

Although this country has been considerably more "poshly conservative," since Reagen, I'm sure we can all agree on that sentiment has been abating to a great degree. In fact, I think by many barometers many people are more liberal than they were fifteen years ago. We come down more sensibly on big business (motivated by jaw dropping disparities in executive salaries vs. employee and startlingly unethical behavior, on their part, at the Wall Street level), trickle down econimics are less popular (arguably as the average American has seen very little trickle down) consumer and worker rights and a host of other social issues. Simply put, the conservative setiment in this country has been kept on life support by the prevailing fear of international terrorism. While this is becoming no less of a priority, the American people have had time to let reason return and still protest things like the suspension of Habeas Corpus.

A return to sanity. It's too bad it's also a return to debt. Why were people continually voting against their beliefs and interests so often and so strongly? The answer is simple, excellent politics.

So what does this re-discovery of the American opinion mean to John McCain? In my mind, many positive things. However, in order to ingratiate himself to the party he has gone through a very public castration of many qualities that made him every ones favorite Republican. And you know what they say about castration, even when it's good, it's bad. Four years ago, I really wouldn't have ruled out him bare knuckle bowing someone on stage. Truly. Today, I don't think he could even Charleston.

This leaves John in a similar position as stood John Kerry for years ago. Disambiguating, for the duration for the campaign, sticky issues, legislation and endorsements as to why they are not as they seem.

"Did everything go well in the previous administration?"

"Well, no.."replied McCain.

.....this is his major problem. He clearly has defined himself with the previous administration. In addition to hurdling the issues he has already set up for himself (age, general testiness, being miss-aligned with his base, poor choice in ties) he clearly sits in the middle of a newly emerged electorate looking for something that USED to be John McCain all over......

********************************************

Sorry for the cross talk but it's an interesting time in politics and subsequently, the nation. This must be how Kelsey Grammer feels, now that he has a new show. Surefire.

Well that all for now, thanks for stopping back in. Tomorrow, there should be something new up.*

-A.J.S.

*(Note: Even the absence of something new, would be something new)

My diamonds are weckless, feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace

2007-11-26T18:15:00.000-08:00

Hello,

I hope you understand that simply had to be the title of this post.

To start, I was recently challenged to make movie titles, given rapidly, into porno names as quickly as I could. NOTE: This was a boast I made.

Although I did quite well (with a low being The Boobsic Man: A Boobsical), I was stumped on one front. The Color Purple. However I, since returning home, realized.....that IS a porno title by itself. THE BATTLE IS STILL MINE!

*****

In exhilarating other news I have decided to get a new piece of furniture for my living room/entire apartment, amid much controversy. The contentious issue is fairly basic. Where am I going to ballroom dance? ...while that still is an issue I have decided to forgo (for the time being) that luxury and invest in some sitting. Currently,(so currently that I'm sitting on it now...which is what she said) I have to rest my weary bones, only a bed and a floor. Picking the more logical of the two most times I find many things are made more difficult. Eating AND baseball are both tough from a semi-laid down position. Although, generally, it is where I do of my best work...BOOYAH.

Aside from that paragraph being one long naughty joke other things are quite well too reader. I'm reminded often of memories past it seems. Even though one braces for change and pushes/pulls it is still difficult to live them. Personally, I find completely losing yourself in your work to be the most challenging. That threat, especially for me, perhaps might be the most off-putting. I've been doing sit-ups for many years and it has lent me a stomach worth showing off. Now it seems, work and societal endeavors tear my away from the world/beach. Alas, worry not 98 pound weaklings....your 99 pound superior will return to you soon. Of that I assure you.

********

Whippoorwills and Blue Bonnets, break softly into cool summer air,
Sharing a softness made softer by gentle, blonde hair.
Leading and leaning, spiking and sway,
Shiver and tremble, embrace and then lay.
Blankets made soft, worn with touch and with use,
The reds and the blues, untangling, becoming quite loose.
A hodgepodge of feelings, a mishmash of song,
Lays still in light summer air,
but it won't lay for long.
A shadow, some rust, a trinket or two,
A brass bells strikes clearly, through crisp air it flew.
Sharp summer fancies, warm melodies past,
Birth more brief Septembers, perhaps some one's last.

*****

I also hate sap.

Cheers,
Andrew

A.A.R.P. (Andrew's American Reality Program)

2007-10-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

Yo,

Well obviously you knew something was up. Although I've noticed, the middle east non-withstanding, the world didn't collapse completely in wake of my blogs semi-retirement. This semi-retirement, not unlike probably most others, wasn't planned but after it went along far enough it seemed to make sense. I imagine that's usually how it goes. Once you hit 54 you probably just don't decide to become irrelevant. It's simply that one morning you wake up and have no idea why the flip Hogan's Heroes isn't on anymore...... and that's about all she wrote.

I guess it was kind of like that. In the beginning I really didn't think that this blog would make it the two year mark. The fact that it is approaching that benchmark really begs the question of this particular endeavor's mortality. Despite my initial claim that I was in this to quote "spray on all deez hatin mufuckazz fa evah."

That being said I write these words as a slap in the face to my slap in the face. Whenever and wherever I feel like I posting I think that I ought to, nay SHOULD, post. What with the (non-existent) public outcry it might be lunacy to stop.

Not like it isn't completely without pleasure, in fact this blog is probably a good dose of medicine for me. I lead ever lengthening days it seems and perhaps this will be a good vehicle for me to take stock of the day's passings. After all, I'll be mother fucked before I ask anyone why Suddenly Susan got cancelled.

*************

To follow the format of the rest of the blogosphere, here is something that is minuscule but bothering me in my everyday life. It seems life is actively working against me in the "Andrew is never going to get to see the Darjeeling Limited," world. This isn't one of those..I could do it if I really wanted to things. This is one of those picturing God as dangling meat (no pun intended) in front of my face without letting you have it for so long that eventually I just start grazing instead. That's actually how cows were invented. It's True.

Not that that this frustration is remarkably or even notably bothersome. What do I have to really complain about? After all i know FULL well why Suddenly Susan got canceled. Simply put, the American public just wasn't ready for the well-read of a show. I believe the term for it was "Too high-end" Whoa is the fate of the intellectual in today's titillate oriented television. Rest in peace Susan.

***************

That's it for now......keep the radio dialed in however, perhaps I'll muse with other stylings in the attempted humor/satirist fashion soon. Until then.......here.

Stay up till you get lit up,
Andrew

Heat, Heat, HOT

2007-09-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

It is without fear or regret that I readily admit being hot sucks the proverbial egg. Wow, sweating all the time is for the birds. That being said there are some up-sides and they are as follows:

1.) You get to look more like Nick Nolte.

2.) Pools are more refreshing.

3.) You always might have just exercised.

4.) You can always one up someone not from the south in the unpleasant category. For instance: "My mom Died last night, I had to pry the will from her cold dead fingers so I could manage to re-allocate her meager funds to raise her several young kids who need braces."

"....It's 99 degrees with 110 percent humidity"

"Really? 110 percent? How does that even work?"

"I don't know really, but wow, is it uncomfortable."

"Man, I feel bad for you."

******

In other news I heard today there might be a Men in Black 3. Egger, get an agent.

Cheers,

A.J.S.

Inhale, Exhale

2007-09-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

It was tough even walking down the sidewalk. Usually, though a problem physically, there was really no mental issue with that habitual straining and flexing of the muscles required to move his taunt, thin body across pavements in any given direction. However, it seems like lately, that was all he could think of, at least in passing thought. "Flex and release, left and right,' he reminded himself. Ever since the car accident he had kept a strict sense of what he was doing physically. "What a luxury,' he thought "being able to move without being conscious of it."

He noticed it immediately after losing it. The effortless way in which people strode around, going to Pet Smart and Target. Going down and up moving around, throwing Frisbees, going to movies and making coffee. These quintessential moments, frozen in their seeming permanence, but fragile in their reality, were his to enjoy no longer. He was vividly aware of his impairments. Some days, he supposed, that was all that got him up the morning. Every morning it was the same thought. Crunched and scraped through the years but the spirit remained. "Simply: put one foot in front of the other you fuck up."

Today was a day that, unlike many that had proceeded it, was fairly carefree. The sidewalk was free of people. Free of judging eyes unlimited in their potential for notice.He forgave them, obviously, he was no paranoid. Still he couldn't help but have a point of view tragically given to those who can see only through the lens of someone impressed upon. He knew all too well the reflexive extra glance shot at someone who exhibited the slightest difference. Knew all too well the thoughts that are nothing short of whispers of cognizance. Recognizing life's inherent dichotomy. There is the healthy and then, the infirmed. Joining the latter was no joy.

These truths did not embitter him. Despite knowing, what he was almost certainly sure, was a perspective forged out of truth and experience he still indulged fervently in humanity. Trying to remain active though he often fought back chasms of non-interest. He did throw the occasional football and still enjoyed a constitutional on Friday afternoons. In fact, come to think of it, there was nothing that he would give up for those Friday afternoons. Everyone sitting comfortabley on the precipice of freedom. He drank heartily from that particular cup, sensing physically the abstract. In fact you could say that was his passion. As his days had wore on, he simply put more and more stock into things that weren't of critical importance to his peers. Slants and impressions. Physical manifestations of concepts and passions. More and more he saves the used coffee cups and the half eaten microwave dinners. Thinking them artifacts in a life lived, vessels through which a experience that flourished, now resides in.

It was that attitude that brought him here today. Down an alley, so stereotypical in its dankness he thought it might be from Hollywood set. He was drawn to it. A flickering street lamp hummed in the corner, a stale half fog floated the expanse of the street as the occasional can littered broke up a monatany of a blemished sidewalk. Halfway down this urban ecosystem was nothing but a simple door to a bar. There, was of course, nothing different about this door. Not blood red, or gifted with a memorable knocked, this door was only exceptional in its blandness. It looked, not unlike the rest of the alley,like it had been delivered fresh from the "Doors that belong in an alley store." So it was with an understandable lack of respect that he wrapped his hand around the mildly tarnished brass handle and gave it a half twist, powerfully, the twist of a muscle memory. Of a task off repeated.

In the midst of this bar he sat. From "left, right," he now progressed to the "up and down," of the lifting of a glass of modestly priced American beer.

She approached like all woman who want something. A demur walk, one that speaks another word with every dip and compensation for a limbs movement elsewhere. It was in the beautiful counterbalance of weight shifting that he noticed her. Alive in death. A breath of fresh air in a place where the most explosive movement had been a yawn.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello," he replied.

"What's a girl like me got to do to get a drink around a place like this?" she jested. He knew, at his core, the core that made him human, that the ball was squarely in his court.

"...Depends greatly on two things." He replied with all the mystery he could muster.

"What would those things be?" she played back.

"One, of course, is a girls aptitude for enjoying whiskey." he replied.

"Certainly a rigorous test," she said coyly.

"Second," he marched on as if to a final goal, "is without a doubt, a girls propensity for starting something she can't hope to finish."

............left and right, up and down.

A definite Baldwin.

2007-09-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Yo,

Losing your grip on what's real and what is not real is, perhaps, the most fundamental element of insanity. I was giving it some thought and, outside of liking The Postman, that truly might be the pillar upon which losing your grip is based. I can comment on this specifically in today's post for the following reason: Living alone will freak you the fuck out.

"But, Andrew, aren't you a sissy?" Well put reader, and the answer is unequivocally, yes I am a sissy. However, this extends far beyond sheer girlishness. The answer to this question I'm afraid doth lie in wait for anyone of you. Yes even you, whom nothing rattles, there is the possibility that you will, one day, live by yourself. The following are observations about living (terrifyingly) alone:

1.) A simple realization, no one will ever see anything. -Ex. Your hand washing silverware...there are some spots on it that are tough to get off. You try to get them off. This completely sane and rational exercise is interrupted by the realization that, once clean, who cares if there are spots on them? Why work hard at getting them off? NO ONE WILL EVER SEE THEM. This ethos is quite simply put, the beginning of the end. Laundry, cleanliness, hesitancy to read Ann Rice, all this slowly eeps away while you wallow in the deep dank pit of self engorgement. Want that extra slice of pizza? Have it! Don't want to throw the box away? Who would!

It's JUST YOU.

2.) Often times you can scrape the crumbs off you in a timely enough fashion to have a discernible thought. Often times this thought might be something like. "What was that noise?" (FYI-The world at large is full of noises. A more accurate distillation of the world there may not be than "Shit is moving and making sounds.") However, you did not know this, but the presence of others has buoyed your "insane," reflex. When you are alone on the other hand....paranoia is allowed to run free and unchecked. Furthermore, this debilitating prognosis is degenerative. The longer one stays alone the greater the risk of turning a muffled thud sound into someone sharpening an ax blade on the human skull of a very (formally) pretty blond haired woman who, amongst other things, was on her way to warn you that her killer was also after you on his way to killing all four of the prophets who, when combined, could come together and summon the sun go Ra in order that he might deflect the eventual coming of the dark lord who would throw this planet and its people back into shackles of servitude they served in before they rebelled successfully against their reptilian overlords early in this planets history.

Or something like that.

There are of course other things that come as a by-product of living alone. The rest of the list is, and will hopefully remain, comfortably out of your understanding.

*******

That all being said, it would seem as if the housing market has finally brought to bare what anyone, who is not a CEO could have told you two years ago. This recovery has been a hollow one. Predicated on shaky lending practices and an American desire to "keep on spending no matter if your children still need school clothes and you have a medical problem." This slash of the fed rate will mark an unprecedented era of "Andrew was correct," the likes of which haven't been seen since I totally figured out Alicia Silverstone was in love with Josh before she did.

*******

That's all for now, thanks for checking in and to wet your whistle here's this golden piece of cinema. This is both a testament to my effort to keep the links relevant and also to the complete crapification of youtube.com...R.I.P.

Cheers,

A.J.S.

THE MOMENT HAS ARRIVED

2007-09-02T21:28:00.001-07:00

All,

As I'm sure you all have, if your anybody whose anybody (sorry nobodies), you have been keeping track of the amount of blog posts I have put out there. Yes, it isn't a staggering amount and no, the counting is not what this gloating is about. I am gloating a slim victory tonight. A minimalist victory (which also is the victory of most Simmons men...if you catch my drift...if not we have small penis') That victory is, unabashedly, that this post (YES THIS POST) is post 69.*

I didn't really know how to approach it. This being somewhere around the two year mark for this blog I thought, maybe it's a good time to let it die. 69 is a nice time to fade. However, as I specialize in the excruciating and painful, I thought the better of it. I also thought, for the first time, I might actually write something of substance. Despite that initial foray into short stories mid-blog I haven't lately ventured into the seductive wood that is yarn weaving. However, that also lives now on the back burner with the idea of this blogs demise. So... after careful consideration I thought, nay, knew the way to handle this momentous occasion. I give you haiku 69:

Here:Post 69
A number, vivid, divine;
Do it in the butt!

There it was suckas. More later. Andrew has a date with Bobby. The movie, not some dude named Bobby. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some of my best friends are named Bobby.

Cheers,

A.J.S.

P.S.--You don't think I'd leave without a dope beat for you to step to, did you? Check it out. That's a classic.

*Note: That many uses of the word post next to all the 69 references was unintentional.

Summary of the Synopsis

2007-08-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

All,

Hey there, I know, I know. I am sure you missed me, in fact I'm a little too sure. I wish you would stop sending the naked photos.

Anyway, sitting squarely in the Midwest for the first time in a long time is, surprisingly, a refreshing place to be in. Little did I know that I might actually (grab you bible's) miss America. That's right Ms. America. It's good overseas but to be short, they're different, you have to pay for ketchup and Clint Eastwood doesn't sound right dubbed into German or Flemish. Although, strangely, Al Roker sounds much better in Italian...couldn't figure it out save I guess it's because he used to be fat. That's really all I could come up with.

Quick question...have you ever been ready to make a move, a major move, and not had exactly where you're going to live worked out? I know this sounds (b)anal, but beleive me....it is quite nerve racking, but that's it. That is all the complaining I'm going to do about that. For now. On that topic.

On another completely unrelated note (sorry for the scramble of the post) is there any better total body cool down that a slushy? Truly slushies are to body temperatures what Bea Arthur is to erections. The temperature in my home town at the moment is approximately 8098923849025 degrees peeling your bodily fluids from your body with a frank force that generally is reserved for doctors and plungers. However, once consumed a slush can really help. There it is. No joke. Andrew's completely selfless tip # 1 (Tips 1-234993249 were self-aggrandizing) When your hot, try a slushy. Grape for most effect. Bubblegum if your a tasteless weenie.

To the point of relief it is nice enough to be back posting and I have decided that I am going to try to more completely update. As I have mentioned before, only someone with my work ethic could think that they need a break from something as trivial as a blog, but I did and it was hard for me so back off!...which I couldn't find on youtube so instead you get this Billy Madison clip, and you'll be glad for it if you know what's good for you.

Just as a closing note it looks like the stock market is going to crash and kill everyone in a grizzly gruesome death with limbs everywhere, lots of blood and someone screaming "Won't someone think of the children?" SOO stock up on weapons now....I suggest booby trapping the front door.

Hugs and Kisses,
A.J.S.

PS- I bet you were wishing I settled on one way to spell Slusheigh. Well I didn't.

Monsieur, there is a U in your pretension.

2007-07-10T13:20:00.000-07:00

All,
So what If I have only been coming at you once a week as of late, so what is it's only one every two weeks? You think I don't have things going on in my life that are more important than pontificating on the days happenings with Internet strangers that (absolutely do not) masturbate to the very thought of me?

I'm sorry i didn't mean that. You know I don't have anything better to do. The pay for this blog is,actually, quite good I'll have you know. Why just the other day I was uptown when some bloke yelled, "Hey man, don't you write that blog?"

Me- "Yes."
Man given an air of supreme authority from his Snoopy shirt- "Fuck you."

So There you have it. Indisputable proof of this blogs incalculable success. As defined by me not,as of yet, going to jail and for the (RECORD!) 54th consecutive time out in public someone swore at me. You wouldn't think wearing a "Hitler was innocent," shirt would be so caustic.
(Ed. Note- Andrew is a large patriot and under no circumstances does he think Hitler was innocent...guilty, guilty, guilty they should rename guilty to be Hitler).

****

Let me tell you something dear reader, as I know it's been quite sometime since I spoke to you directly (sorry about canceling Friday but I really didn't want to see "Whose you Caddy!?") The Kinks are really an under appreciated band...truly ahead of their time. I know this probably comes as no surprise to you as I know my average reader is both a music fan and brighter than I am but still they kick an, almost, unparalleled amount of ass. Mind bending with three chord riffs their manipulation of guttural music rock and/or roll (and some surprising versatility on more melodic jams) left me both awed and astonished. Tough I didn't get to them before. Ah well, I was probably happy listening to Winger anyway.

****

Asides aside it is nice to be back on this text page. Holding at my mercy both these words and the precious few that read them for whatever reason.It is always tempting to be more abrupt and hate-filled in this blog. In fact I can surmise almost every popular blog in about three sentences. "Welcome to my blog, I fucking hate stupid people. Angelina Jolie (by the way both her first name and last name are ACTUAL WORDS in the blogger spell checker...I almost rest my case) is fucking hoTT, and there is a current trend in popular culture that bothers me but I enjoy catering to it."

Wow...got it in two.

Your welcome for the unapologetically mundane,without fire, blog you see before you. It takes a lot of work to suck. Tragically, it seems it also leaves you without a theme or talent.

That's something that suits me fine though, as I've been leading a life almost tirelessly dedicated to production without talent or skill. Let's see where this goes, it certainly has got to be better than my tree house....Check back regularly as my travels will in the next month take me to

A.) Europe
B.) New Orleans
C.)Your mothers house to show her how to live in a BIG HOUSE WITH FINE WINE AND CHEESES.*

cheers,
Andrew Simmons

*I don't particularly know what that means.

*****

int main()
{
cout << "Hello,Bloggers!"; return EXIT_SUCCESS; if (i=0; i {
cout << "Thank you."; }else{ cout << "screw off"; } } }

When in doubt, GUNZ BLAZE!

2007-06-29T07:34:00.001-07:00

Ahoy,

Hello there, it seems in a single hour I have aged a hundred years. Class trickles on with all the roaring speed of Mr. Bean and somehow I'm losing the ability to use mine. Spose that's why i am rapping at you in the first place, lord knows I don't come at when I've got other things going on. (Note: I am juggling flaming penguins carrying knives with liquid explosives coarsing in their veins).

Morning cracks
unhinged like common loons,
smooth and azul
calling me a fool,
Me believing it and thinking it must have a point.
After all it usually does (breakfast).

Light and Panes
light pains
small gains
stay in my lane
train
in vain
like a common loon.

It sits there, festering like a fat fig in the blistering sun,
and I can't be done
can't run.
I look at these hands
their lines both long and crackled,
worked and loves running in directions that only they know;
but I defer to them, always have.

Our House, In the Middle of Our Street.

2007-06-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

There is something to be said for sitting in ones bedroom for over an hour at least something more than you would suppose. It seems like, and maybe this is just (absolutely is) me talking, but once you hit that hour thresh hold, you get this ability to start seeing things. If your like me, and you probably are more than you think (word of advice: CANCEL SUBSCRIPTION TO SHAPE MAGAZINE) you have decorations in your room. Decorations defined as posters, photos,posters,model airplanes, signed poster of the cast from X-files (and by signed poster I mean the autograph of the guy who photo shopped Gillian Anderson into a bikini revealing a little more than paranormal activity) [ed. note- if you can think of a way to turn paranormal activity into a breast joke other than paranormal acTITity, let me know], etc. etc. This being the case and as I'm not in my room much as a result of my staggering amount of female callers/trying to figure out how to play "Everlong," on the guitar, my room truly fades into a dull roar of blues, yellows and mildly offensively positioned women.

However, when you hit the magical hour mark, and really there is no reason for you to do that save NOT studying or preparing something that you should for all intents and purposes be doing (and here I'm aware that taking down the Gillian Anderson probably qualifies) but when you hit it ,the room fades in from scene left. You start to notice things and I'll give you a concrete example. I simply did not know that I had this...
actually hanging up in my room. I had forgotten I ever listened to Savoy Brown. A tragedy to be sure.

This is not to say that you, dear reader, are anywhere close to as unobservant as me. In fact as I type I'm sure you finding Waldo in places he was never thought to be found again (although he probably should stop hiding in Middle Ages Battles for Castles that always the first place I look) and tying people shoes so they don't/do trip over their shoelaces. You Samaritan you.

In essence I suppose it reminds me, and you eagle eye, that rooms and lives deserve and demand constant attention or threaten to leave you striving and moving in a sea of gray. Forever condemned to watch everything and see nothing. If that's what you want, watch PAX.

Not as condescending as I may read because you've probably all been down the same road as me and it's difficult for me to think sometimes so lay off and get your own blog Melville,
A.J.S.

Titlein'

2007-05-30T12:03:00.000-07:00

Afternoon All,

Sposin' I get to Toesin'
'Round something real.
Sposin' this Toesin'
makes you feel.

Feel like something that burns inside.
Feel like something that makes you hide (Hyde).
Sposin' this Toesin' begins the Disposin'
of something that makes you (identity) real.

If that high Fallosin' begins the Boozin'
which leads to the Snoozin'
would whomever wakes up be steal (olen)?

Probably not, but there is Sposin'
of all the Toesin',
but sometimes, just sometimes,
A thought can be made into a meal.

Pedantic Pedestrian Pontification for People

2007-05-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

As per the usual I apologize for the latency since my last entry, but (and here I'm always reminded of that scene in V for Vendetta when that woman, reduced to nothing but her sense of pride, wrote on toilet paper in her holding cell.......however in my defense she was a lesbian, I've heard they're a communicative people) life has been somewhat fractured as of late, sitting smack dab for whatever reason in the "never enough time," category. Despite this being true, it also smacks of 45 year old mother mantra and, my affinity for track lighting and propensity to TiVo this aside.....
..I Still feel like anything that puts me into that category is probably for the worst and as a result here I am blogging again, Don't call it a comeback.

As I'm sure like it has been with you, as it has a tendency to do so, time has been moving forward at exactly the same pace at which it ought to move. Which, might seem unremarkable to you, but then again your the person putting Sidney Poitier's autobiography in the top ten best sellers, so what do you know? Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, he was good in The Jackal and I respect that....but to me, especially within the context of one of those pending "life watershed moments," (births, weddings, funerals, when you learn that Carlton from Fresh Prince IS actually much more black than he portrayed on the show*) it would seem to either slow down or speed up, neither of which is the case.

Instead, time has been moving as a function of normality and I suppose because it's a product of how I'm spinning this in the upstairs lab, I guess I'm dealing with it fairly normally. That is to say unless you think that because everyone else handles it with stress and apprehension than I would be the one, by definition, outside of the norm. Perhaps making me, not normal, and I think you would be correct. Congratulations you, I really mean that, you worked hard. [Ed. Note-I've yet to receive YOUR congratulation card on my graduation; although I'm sure it's in the mail. (Just so you know, Sidney Poitier now has $12.99 of your money Andrew Simmons, dear friend and role model $0.00, just a thought)].

Other than that, and the pending next step apps process, every things been pretty cool with me, I guess that frees me up to speak, anecdotally and with great embellishment of course (as I know you have come to expect certain standards and who am I to disappoint, outside of the bedroom that is--ZINGINLY!!!) about observations made today while pedestrianizing around.

1.) Truly, the average car driver wants appear just flippant enough as to seem that they don't see you. We get it, you don't care if we live or die you just want to get to Subway. I understand, I'm sorry I was in the street. Hope you enjoy your 6 inch.

2.) You miss a lot walking around with headphones. On the upside RATT's killer licks almost make up for it.

3.) Summertime is in full bloom. Which, sickeningly, as soon as I typed that made me think of the pending Pirates movie.

Well, only someone as truly lethargic as me could ever use business as an excuse to not exercise something as minuscule as a blog (particularly this tiny blog) but I did and I'll deal with your judgements. I can handle them. I'm a recent gun owner.

Don't go away mad,
A.J.S.

Actually, we're all near death...try and act accordingly.

2007-04-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hello,

Top' o the afternoon to you in blogosphere. I suppose you've been wondering what's been going on with me (get me oucha head girl) and I guess the answer is, according to CNBC, stagflation, but you already knew that you go getter. Every time there's a lull in SUV driving socialites purchasing penchant it's the indicator of the final economic decay of our hemisphere. Well you know what? Screw that. It's time they started understanding the true reason SUV sales are down. That is quite simply, that Fresh Prince episodes have become a late night staple on TV; rendering the entire country unmovable. Difficult to understand I know, but this country lives and dies by the television plus have you seen the one where Will gets a car and doesn't have insurance?

Answer this question though, which do you think would stir the American Public more, if the President Pro Tempe got shot on his way to work by a mugger or if Simon showed his genitals on American Idol? The answer is obvious however, what's not is the joke that sets me up for.... Simon's genitals? Wouldn't that be an American I"don't"?

That aside, it's been pretty okay although, I suppose with graduation looming I should have more to say. In instances like this though I can't help but think of Beetle Bailey. Would he have something profound to say on this topic, shit 'naw. However, he, mainly because you can never see his eyes, always has a air of knowing what's going on about him. Smug and sly, he always seems adjusted quite right. He reminds me of myself, although with me you never see my eyes because I'm always right behind you, plotting. With a knife. Sharpening it. To use it. On someone.

I'll tell you this though, before I run, it doesn't take a lot to completely take the oomph out of your padoodle. If your like me then you like to regard yourself as somewhat of a "person." As such (and contrary to what you think I am) you might be as foolhardy to think that no matter what. you'll always be able to say: communicate, converse, convene, connive, concierge, conflagrate but what you don't know is how easily that can all be ripped from you. All it takes is deprivation from some very basic things and, voila, you are a screwball. Think you interact well in social groups? Try not sleeping for four days. Think you can construct a semi-meaningful presentation on something pertinent to your career? Try starving yourself for five days prior. Necessary, no, but try and find your limits. I think you'll find yourself startlingly vulnerable.

Pussy.

Check ya,
A.J.S.

A CD or a VD?

2007-03-29T12:10:00.001-07:00

It's like this,

I'm certainly not going to pay for music. That much has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. I no longer hold any illusions that if B2M FINALLY came out with a follow up CD I'd buy it. Furthermore, it is no longer something that i can excuse as a generational trend, this theft that is. Granted, Matt Lauer has discussed it on his daily show and usually when that happens (with the notable exception of Al Roker) it's a fairly sterile topic. However, as of late I've found myself on some unsure footing. The intellectual in me, which usually only surfaces during Frasier re-runs, tries to rationalize it. Yes, its on the daily show. Yes, it's in the NYT. Yes, any industry that has the sheer audacity to release another Bjork album probably deserves a fiscal cut, but alas, I still can't get no satisfaction. MUSIC QUOTE TO END A MUSIC PARAGRAPH. BOOYAHH!!!!

That being said though, It becomes exceedingly more difficult for me not to blame the grandiose institution of popular music for these lashes that now rain down upon their, entirely too large, homes. For years, over-inflated managers have been robbing pre-teens of babysitting dollars churning out Ricky Schroeder's debut album. THAT MUST STOP (not you Ricky,your gold).

Think about it in parallel industry terms. Suppose that the automotive industry faced the following crisis. Some underground environmental gang got together, invented a medium for super convenient free popular transportation, for everyone instantly. Car sales would come crashing down as people all over this great land, despite it being illegal, got rides from these rogue environmentalists. What would be the car industries response? It had better be something to the tune of competition, to make it illegal and prosecute your potential customers makes about as much sense as left handed scissors (but Andrew, I'm left handed regular scissors are difficult to use: I still feel like you could use them, they're scissors) they would immediately have to contend with this new service, offering a similar substitution or face being ground out of the market completely.

In a similar predicament is the music industry. I like this challenge and time. FOEVER the recording industry has expected an unfair compensation price point for things like this.

......That's just unfair.

Perhaps the RIAA, whatever the hell that is, will understand that this is a crossroads that demands a rebirth, not an upsetting of your market base. You must give us more, not less. (Which is the same thing your Mom said to me last NIGHT!!)*

Well that's all for me and know in mind that this perspective comes to you from the man that bought the Cam'Ron album "FIRE," for Horse and Carriage. Grain of Salt.

Cheers,
A.J.S.

*Yes, she actually did say that last night, hard to believe I know, but you wouldn't know about her needs would you? Always running off to work, never letting her vent about what your father does and doesn't do. She's human too. Bottom line.

Skating on Hot Ice.

2007-03-08T12:06:00.000-08:00

Hey there you, little miss thang,

This transition from classes being almost over to over-over is, indeed, an interesting one. I think perhaps the most visible phenomena being the array of different reactions to the impending close of yet another chapter in your College Reader's Digest Collection. These reactions run the gamut from trepidation to excitement, but often I find myself wondering why, I, the famous (not actually famous) author, are completely bereft of almost any emotion towards it what-so-ever. Lately it truly seems like the only reaction I have to to the progression of time is a refraction of others behaviors. Yesterday, I too, found myself mired in the middle tracks of a "Clap your hands and say yeah", album trying to figure out what everyone saw in it. Believe me, that is not somewhere you want to be.

I suppose this too will pass, after all your talking to the man that, after some of the most pivotal epiphanies in his life, went straight to a four hour binge of Tekken and subsequently forgot that Ezra Pound ever existed. Which, by the way, is something I recommend to everyone.
(I'll leave the Pound joke juxtaposed with a fighting game reference to your imagination).

As immune as it would seem I am to my own reactions ytd it also, conversely I think, makes me hyper aware of everyone else's. These I don't seem to understand. I can't seem to drive home for myself people's investment in the future. For instance: "Panama City: 7 more days!!" While I, of course, am no stranger to sunning and funning , I guess maybe I'm too invested in the now. Tuesday's can be more fun than an entire week spent Mediterraneaning- circumstances pending.

"But Andrew, I'm just looking forward to spending times with friends, is there anything so wrong with that?"..............Nice question reader. I understand that comment. Really I do. Some of my best friends, as I understand it, enjoy spending time with me. But to that I say, just make sure your getting the worth out of every moment. Don't lose today for tomorrow. Tomorrow probably will closely resemble Today, I mean you'll be there anyway. After all, almost inevitably* tomorrow will turn into a today.

Yes that's right, They still play "Adventures of Pluto Nash," in the Bahamas as well.

Well, that being said that about does 'er for today. Concise (laziness) was the goal today. Hey, I don't have to savor the day. That's for you. I'll see you guys at the TNG Convention.

Cheers,
Andrew J-Free

* I will allow for the possibility of tomorrow to be stored/twisted or perverted. Your not the only one to see the Matrix.

and....BALL FIVE! You were never up in the first place.

2007-02-27T17:36:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

And a pleasant Tuesday to you, I hope it finds you as well as it finds me and believe me I"LL ALWAYS find you.

After all, your probably in the phone book. Remember that. Plus I own several guns. (That specifically goes out to the person who recently stole one of my Nalgene bottles. Congratulations. You have made it more difficult for me to drink water. A basic human function. If I see you I'm going to make it harder for you to blink. How? You'd be surprised what a man armed with Tweezers and nude pictures of Betty White can do; you rat bastard).

Enough of that though, I believe this post is unabashedly dedicated to Homer Bailey. THE number one prospect in these major leagues, and you know who his contract belongs to? That's right boys and girls, the Cincinnati Reds. A club who has systematically either thrown talent out of its organization or signed people bereft of it. However, by sheer dumb luck it would seem as if Narron's boys have an up and comer, up and coming. This of course leaves only two possibilities to unfold...

1.) Homer is brought up to the Major Leagues prematurely following a fan outcry and consequent pressure from management that knows little about baseball. Jerry Narron reluctantly calls him up prematurely because he thinks it might save his job and heck, maybe he's the spark plug they need to make a playoff push and finally be able to beat someone over .500. Tragically, though, Homer steps up and immediately people understand why that's his name. Throwing balls some might call of the gum variety, everything he throws seems to land somewhere between Saskatchewan and the moon. Then, confidence shattered, he gets demoted to Triple A Louisville where he is mired somewhere between good and mediocre leaving fans like myself to only mention his name 5 years later, drunk, and discussing funny sport starts that never were. You hear me Harold Miner?

2,) He bursts into flames and dies at 22.

Either way, you might want to send his mom some cards now. Although I haven't seen the " My condolences that my poorly ran major league team broke your sons promising dream into a million pieces and barbecued those pieces into something that tastes a lot like complete failure," card at Hallmark, which is weird because you would think after Ryan Wagner they might have that one.

Well I suppose in the history of the blog, it's okay to make one sports related post after all I am a man. Complete with Kung-Fu grip. Although also I cost about as much as G.I Joe with it. Maybe there's something to be said for economy. I'm the "Falls Creek," version of man. Seemingly okay, poorly put together and I wouldn't show the tag to someone I was trying to impress.

Enough self loathing though, it's about time for this savvy vet to hit the road. Advice for you readers? De-list out of the yellow pages and get me back my Nalgene.

A.J.S.

Pants at a Pants Free Event

2007-02-21T13:08:00.000-08:00

Often times I'm tempted to give these blogs a title BEFORE i write whatever it is that I write about, in fact I think I might do that right now.....there, now THAT title is sufficiently ambiguous.

---"Andrew, why no one can write a decent post right after working out, are you INSANE?"

True doubter, true it may be impossible for lesser men, but I dare to dream. I live my life counter to e-trends. Why just the other day I went you youtube and looked at something other than a teenager lip syncing to Dido. Although, I don't think I'll be searching for middle aged man lip syncing again, it seems that lacks a necessary modifier to get what your looking for.

I'm sure its been great out there in you world, but rest assured that over here, its always one point better than you and you had better get used to dealing with it. I kid, I kid, but if the good weather outside is any indicator you had better pickup a new hobby that you REALLY enjoy.
Because I am truly in a rock solid, unflappable joy and to keep up your going to need something new. It is my sincere belief that you cannot understand exactly how great it is to be indoors until the option of going outside is actually frightening (and you don't count Alabama).

Today marks the first day in a long time that I wore shorts and although probably incredibly boring to you (LIKE THIS BLOG!) It was no small victory for me. In fact I can't help but say, as I traveled the streets, I knew what was on peoples minds as I passed them. I mean usually I have a fairly good shot at what they're thinking "man, is that a roll of quarters?" but this time I knew. The thought was a constant " I don't think it's quite warm enough man, get some sense." Well you know what pedestrian that I have a incredibly low probability of telling this to in real life?

Get Bent.

I'm loving my legs and, save for the blinding light that must reflect of my alabaster flesh, I don't think its causing you any harm. So let the calves begin.

Also, for anyone reading this with a conscious (re: no one), in Athens, Ohio : Ohio University we are hosting a 5k run/walk to benefit the Invisible Children Inc. A non-profit dedicated to education and relief in Uganda. For more info check out invisiblechildren.com or leave me a comment and I'll get back to you. Don't all rush to your wallets at once.

Cheers,
A.J.S.

Bowl on the Run

2007-02-05T13:34:00.001-08:00

Although, granted, it's fairly difficult to approach a blog the day after the Superbowl and NOT talk about the Superbowl, I'm just the guy with the balls big enough to do it.

.......Really.

Plus, what's pseudo-intellectuality if you don't pretend to sooooo hate things that the public does en mass!!!! I mean Pirates of the Caribbean was nothing more than a dark vehicle to show special effects to entertain dumb people who like to watch squids talk. (Note-the author enjoyed that movie).

But here it is: my unabashedly super-free post (note the lack of bowl in that modifier) and it sits here wondering exactly what to discuss. Although, there is much floating about the world (pop and otherwise although who cares about anything but Britney) nothing, and i mean nothing, is catching my eye quite like the president's determination to convince the American people he is a bi-partisan guy. I mean, I flip on the television two days ago and I see him knee deep in all the Pelosi one person can (for physiological toxicity reasons) stomach in a year cracking jokes and wearing a, get this, GRAY, WORN SUIT.

I spent a couple seconds unfazed (thank you T.V for turning my life into a dull roar) but then it hit me. I was watching the President mingle with the democrats. Which of course wouldn't be that unusual if earlier that day I had seen Jesse Jackson hanging with Jesus lunching at the Neo-Nazi Veggie Deli, but since today isn't "No Fucking Way in Hell Day," I was a little taken aback.

Not that I didn't see this coming. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. Check these archives for further vindication (Second Note- I understand no one is going to check the archives). I understand the mandate the public pushed forth, it's just so unsettling. It's like i continue to wait for some celebrity to thank the band for coming and tell the T.V. audience how much they loved doing the show.

The Policy Wonk (what little there is) in me is intrigued. You have to wonder what this forced coupling could possibly breed. If logic serves it will probably be a harpy.

For actual political insight, perhaps stayed tuned to the next post, although Jazzy Jeff just released a new CD so, if I were placing a wager, I might anticipate a review being next. Your call.

Well, enjoy your day folks. I suppose I'll do the same. Keep the wheels grinding because I'm about to the tear the roof off.

-A.J.S.

2007-01-29T17:30:00.000-08:00

It was tough for him. In this little mountain town everyone knew Dave. It's tough for anyone to get over EVERY one knowing you, but in this particular town of Sunset Falls, by virtue of the gossips tenacity for Dave, it might have driven someone else insane. Well, looking back maybe. it was impossible for someone like Dave too. You see, Dave had been in the town's eye for the whole of his duration on this earth and until he moved on (his ultimate intention) it looked like everything, from his slightly droopy jowls to his always covered legs, would be under constant assessment.
It wasn't like he did anything wrong. In fact Dave was the type of guy who was proud to be constantly on the straight and narrow. Didn't understand how people got in fistfights and spoke in a manner that reflected that ethos. Once, when he was downtown to to get some candles, ol' Mike McConnell and Jimmy Refets got in a brawl over some damned thing and the first thing out of Dave's mouth was "What could possibly be worth fighting about?" Now this disposition wasn't exactly why Dave is the focus of this story but it sure doesn't detract from the picture at all, but I don't know exactly why I mention it save as to get a better picture of the man.
To that point though, often while walking down streets, knowing that everyone was looking at him out of the corner of their eye, getting permission for complete stairs from his back, he wondered how he had gotten into this town. He wasn't much to look at. A skinny man, with a fresh mop of blond hair with enough brown in it as to leave no doubt he was a mix of every descent this great country had to offer. No, he wasn't much to look at but he wasn't that ugly either. Dave had always been acutely aware of the premium on beauty. Had been aware of it every since that haircut in the sixth grade when he read that People magazine article that said plainly that 90 percent of CEO's were rated as good looking or very good looking. So, in Dave's mind, that's just how it was. Good looking people got ahead and he didn't have very much going for himself. Dave just knew himself as a farm hand, but then Dave didn't quite it or himself.
Well, get it in regards to being a CEO, but that wasn't quite what he wanted to do. No, to Dave a CEO was someone who had lost himself. A CEO was someone who hadn't quite figured out what they wanted to do but had instead gotten mixed up in the constant caterwaul of what he assumed (being as he had never put on a tie in his life) was the cacophony of business life. Demanding blue teeth and trophy wives, this never appealed to Dave in the slightest. He was a rare bird. The kind that immediately once spotted, you knew it was to be noticed. A friend once told Dave, "Dave, every damn time I see you it's like I just a snake for the first time, and it's like no one had ever told me that there were snakes on this planet." And that description suited Dave just fine.
I guess in the end, that is what made people look at Dave and that did make him uncomfortable. It follows suit then that Dave did what he did, looking back I suppose there was really no way around it. It just seemed like, well back then, that because everyone was always talking about him, that he would always be there. I mean, you don't expect the weather to go anywhere do you? However, that wasn't the case and I'll never forget that week. He did more leaving than he ever did while he was here. People spoke of him like it was going to put out a fire at an orphanage. Half of it true, and half of it not. I s'pose that wouldn't have mattered to Dave either.
Guess you can accomplish a lot when your not someplace. Trouble is, most times, you have to be there first, and most times your not Dave.

Fyodor's Fiddling's

2006-12-27T10:54:00.000-08:00

Suffice it to say I, historically, am not one to put things off because of unpleasantness. Save having to buy the last Alkaline Trio album. Back through the ravages of time I can often recall with vivid clarity wading into uncomfortable moments just for the sheer (perverse) thrill of being somewhere, socially, I wasn't supposed to be. That being said there are certain moments, common to everyone, that are so gigantically socially prostrating that I think you could prefer a literal prostration ( although I suppose that would depend greatly on the quality of said prostration).

Without a doubt this purple headed beast is the request for letters of recommendation. Not unlike walking on an icy pond to get to the other (filled with co-eds bouncing) side of the water obtaining letters recommending yourself is quite the delicate and intense business.

Maybe not for you, and if so screw you/congrats. For me though, I have spent the better part of my educational career sitting in back rows letting those students (whom see to be breeding) that like to hear their own voice ask questions and toss around conjecture that can only live in undergraduate classes at liberal arts institutions (although the discussion of Fyodor as a firemen was enlightening). While, necessary to educational discourse, I guess, I have always (due to one part elitism, three parts fear) have tried to maintain above the fray choosing instead to text message girls thongs escaping from their pant lines in the rows ahead of me...and FYI it's like shooting underwear in a barrel.

As you might guess though, when underwear is your central classroom preoccupation, it leaves some leg work to be done on the professorial side of recommendations. Needless to say any letter that has to begin " I was a student in your Econ 382 class..." is an uncomfortable idea, which might be the chief reason I do it drunk and with no revisions.

But, as much as I might like to fancy myself troubled and with pain, I can't help but think about how silly the fear of rejection in this instance is. Not only, in contrast with people, say, starving in Rwanda, but furthermore I have seen most of these professors ENGAGE in Fyodor: Firemen conversations, soooooo at least i know my letter isn't the most inane thing they've done today (a record I generally hold for most people).

Still, it's not just any blind ambition that led me to these conclusions. No, it's many generations of class idlers whose shoulders, or cell phones rather, I now stand upon. Now, clearly the lesson of this story would be strive to foster relationships with those people who can help you down the road. However, as these relationships would also clearly be fake in so much as they exist only for you to get something from them, allow me to suggest an alternative. T and A.

From what I understand not only does one get to actually enjoy the distribution of the T and A to various professor types but also one gets to use that in assorted black mail schemes to get grades higher and cheat on further tests. I see no downside.....Except the burn marks from the leather elbow patches, but I've had worse burning sensations.

Well, that's what's on the noodle at the moment and I beg of your forgiveness that today we didn't deal in the abstract, although..............what if Igor was a firemen? How would he react to today's societal shackles placed upon men of common employment?

Put that in your phone and text message it.

Cheers,
A.J.S.

A Scattered Hello.

2006-12-11T16:12:00.000-08:00

G'day all,

Not to dabble too awful much in the banal but in the winter, specifically in Ohio, the earlier it gets dark, the shorter the days get it seems the more prone I seem to be to doing nighttime things. While this probably doesn't initially bother you, (and it should because it bothers me) it can really throw a mans rhythm off. Generally speaking its not altogether healthy to say, brush your teeth three times a night or wash your teddy bear twice an evening, and I'll thank you not to ask why he needs to be washed daily.

Those, however true, are my problems and, as was recommended to me earlier in the week, perhaps these blogs do seem to share a constant trend of subtle negativity. My immediate reaction was, unbelievably, one of disbelief, i guess that everyone thinks they know themselves and I fancy myself fairly positive (I have on transformer underooos on right now!) However, after haphazardly sifting through some blogs I believe i know why some could take that position. Rare is the blog that I compose that I don't think thru to a fault. In fact, on the reg, it's usually just sitting around, straight drewmode, and sometimes these idol fingers find their outlet in keystroke format. Perhaps too often. .......and I did notice how close idol fingers and stroke are together.

In these ramblings though, and maybe when it's just me taking highway 1 in the old gray matter, I don't often stop to ponder the beauty of a sunset, that's for conversation carried on between myself and someone I'm trying to impress/kiss. When dancing the dance we call blog, I seem to leave the engaging and happy untouched and deal more with the bad/challenging (for me) /observational (probably not)/hank azaria/ minutia, for better or for worse, and I think it's an outflow of my natural gift to infinitely overlook the good and move onto what I don't have a handle on, which could be a reason why I have, for the better part of ten years, tried to explain why they even made the movie Eddie.

Thus, I think that, after some thought, this would be my rebut: Negative no, Contemplative, hopefully yes. Self- Aggrandizing/Serving, always. Look out for "Top Ten Reasons Andrew Kicks Ass," hitting the Internet soon.

It feels as if the economy is poised to move one way or the other lately. I have always been a big believer in the Automotive and S&P being seminal indicators in general swings. I think that what some economists (see above: self serving) don't factor in is that America's economy is, at least to some degree, a young engine. More to that point, this engine was constructed on one premise, that is to say the robustness of this economy and country, was predicated on the large auto and other assembly oriented industries, being successful. That is what bred initial industrialization and generated middle class wealth. I look to these industries to be indicators then for two reasons.
1.) I believe in their numbers being reflective of how this country rolls (and if we don't pay no tolls we ain't eat no rolls)and.....
2.) I also believe that, in order for our country to stay buoyant an eventual shift must, in regards to market orientation, take place.
This economy is not centered on the dot com side. We still hold most wealth in classic industries. Thus, i watch the S&P to wonder when the dog will learn its new tricks. Which it must do, the economy, to no ones surprise, will re-orient itself or die.

Which of course begs the question (I guess) of what this new economy will look like. I, like CNN (and that pains me) seem to be a bit apprehensive at both the acclamation phase of the general public if this change does take place, AND a bit apprehensive if this change will ever occur. The race to the bottom for manufacturing costs, will (in the long long run at least) eventually bottom out. Pricing back IN American work and labor forces, what will the economy look like then? Who knows, but to get there we'll see fireworks first.

On another note I wanted to extend to the readership a true wish. Something I rarely do within these html walls (be true that is). A wish that someone explains to me the fervor over holiday shopping. I understand the need to get the ones you love gifts. Furthermore, I even understand at times it's necessary to get them lots of gifts. Despite this though, I still can't understand the frantic-ness out there. The mall looks like Clay Aiken was in the lobby.(Actually I'm not quite sure what that would look like, mix of vomit and sequins probably). I just don't understand the stress level. My vote if for assignment of headphones when you enter the mall pumping "Feliz Navidad," into your brain. Try stressing during that chorus and your more than likely a lost cause....oh and I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heEaArrrttt. Feliz Navidad Motherfucker.

Turkey in the Dell

2006-11-23T15:48:00.000-08:00

Yo,
Well it's been sometime since I rapped at you so I thought I'd shoot you a holler. If you don't remember me, my name's Tony and nothing much has changed since the last time I wrote you guys. Sure, Dave and Tom moved out, so that's one thing, but in my life, it seems like when one window shuts another door opens and that sure is what happened. My new roomate Steve is the best, or at least the best so far. Last week when the Festiva went down again (I know I'm still drivin' her, but the good times keep coming!) bam! there was Steve right there on I-80 picking me up in his Berreta so we could go get some another quart of oil. I'll tell you folks the Festiva keeps on ridin' but she's draining me dry!
But that's not the only thing that so great about Steve. Yeah sure, he likes to party as much as I do, but he isn't a guy who just crashes on your couch after a bash. Man, it was like every fucking time I was the one going around picking up the bottles after a party and Dave and Tom just slept on the couch and chair; watching the Two Girls a Guy and a Pizza Place re-runs. At least with Steve now he actually picks up his shit.
I know that isn't what you want to hear about though, and you know me, I'm always going to give you guys the skinny on whats happening to the T man. What happened with me and Arelene? Well that's though, if you guys remember I left you last time after I was on a stone cold chill with some RUSH playing co-pilot in the 'stiva. Well, shortly after I did that J on the side of the road I got a bit of a change of heart. I mean here I was 32, outside of town and freaked out because a girl wanted to be my girlfriend. I mean I asked myself, was the fucking good? and the answer was yes, yes it was. Then I asked myself, do i have to pay for shit? and the answer was no, no I didn't. So basically friends ol' Tony did a little bit of life math and noticed that T is up several good lays and down nada'. So I thought to myself "what the fuck"?
So once I get into town and get the electric tape to close up the hole in the fan belt, I drive straight over to Arlene's to sort this shit out. I get to her building and have to fight to get a parking spot, it's always like that ( I swear that someone swoops back for that spot by the truck before I get there every time),and once I finally find one I head on up to her floor. Now usually, when I go I call first but I'm about to formally attach myself to a woman so I just go the fuck up there.
I get to the door walk in and shes watching T.V., some shit about Egypt, wearing that Loony Tunes T-Shirt that she knows I think is hysterical. I tell her what I discovered during my cruise, at least what I discovered minus the poon-tang revelation, and then BANG before I know it we've screwed and she's asleep with me watching Night Court and sipping on a MGD. Maybe I'll get use to this.

With me life's been fairly okay and I'm sure it's been that way for you. It's taken me,the royal me, sometime to get back into blogging after a recent 'bout with the futility of communication, some bad reviews and an all to stocked mescaline/Nick Nolte buffet. Now though, with those things in the rear-view mirror, I have the ability to look forward and, let me tell you, the road is paved with kick ass blog entries soaked in the blood of my enemies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( I wish there was a way to write bullets shooting a things, maybe: t---------)

It is without a doubt interesting getting home for the holidays. It appears to be human nature not to accomplish things for self worth but perhaps accomplish things to bring them home with you for thanksgiving. Every Uncle and Cousin is rife with stories of competition bested and women won. The only truths that you really hear are shared by the older women over coffee discussing that "Brad really isn't doing all that well, in fact they think his wife is seeing somone else." A set of circumstances that never fail to amaze me, and sorry Brad, never catch me offguard.
It constantly seems the less important a thing is, the more important it would be to your grandmother. To test this theory (note, this experiment requires two sets of grandparents, if this isn't the case I'm sorry, but take solace in the reality that you could borrow most and they wouldn't know the difference) tell one set you've acheived Nirvana, tell them your soul is at peace and the universe makes perfect sense to you, you understand your presence.
Tell the other ones you got promoted at Goldman/Sachs.
See which one does what.

That being said, as I don't like to end posts on a sad note, I'm sure that most places grandparents are more cool than mine and less concerned with the material world. In fact I'm fairly sure grandparents like that live somewhere in the southwest. Family is an interesting construct.

I hope all you fans out there had an excellent Thanksgiving and truly settle on something better than cranberry sauce out of a can. At least mash that shit up before you serve it.
Savor the Day,
A.J.S.

Interesting Trivia-When was the first thanksgiving?---------------1621. Also the birthday of my grandparents. Funny how things work out.

Vandalizing the Vandal

2006-10-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
It would seem this post needs a bit of a disclaimer at the beginning of it. At no point is any word, in any way, meant to be original or provoking in this blog, ever. Not only is everything I do or say a mimic or direct quote from something else, but I believe it was John Lennon whom said "there is nothing you can do that can't be done," so really I'm just flexing my philo-muscles. If one were to call me a hack, they would have to get in line.
It would also seem as if the haters in dark corners out there in the world (notably Dr. Robotnik) would like to see this blog fail. I can barely resist the urge to write about nothing but stock dividends and alternative fuel in order that I might sate the sadists but then, who wins? The answer would be America, but for my own frame of mind I'll have to keep on plugging. To those whom my writing has fallen at or below snuff, I offer my apologies, but I've said it before and I'll say it again. Come at me wrong one more time, and I'll bury one in your motherfucking brainstem.

Good, now that we got that out of the way we can talk lightly. It's difficult to understand exactly what might be going on out in the world. Negativity, hatred, my blog, Scary Movie 4; it is difficult for anyone to truly get a grasp, I would reason, on the ebbs and flows that run around us.
Which is why I think that Tuesday nights are soooo great. True, they have no appeal, but in that is magic. We are talking the blandest of the bland. Tuesdays make oatmeal look like, oatmeal, but that's the beauty. There is nothing expected out of a Tuesday or oatmeal for that matter. It's a mere survival day, and staring down the short end of another one I say, damn proudly, screw off hump day, applesauce Tuesdays are here to burn your house down (although its widely known Wednesday lives in a retirement community with Monday, but we won't concern ourselves with the particulars, I mean you've gotta crack some eggs right?)
In that pursuit I've been taking note and getting bloat, attending to matters that one could at worst call "astoundingly without drive," and at best be called " without merit whatsoever, who do you think you are really?, I mean a dog?" and, to answer what you must be thinking, it's been going pretty damn well.
Well that's about it for me, sorry for the short post but I had to respond to some startlingly negative press. Remember folks, this blog sucks. No if, and or butt, unless they're incorrectly conjugated/utilized.
Until next time,
Andrew

Raton-ment of Sins (Transgressed and otherwise)

2006-09-28T21:07:00.001-07:00

Hello,
Hey there everyone and it's good to see you to, this week has been progressing for me quite nicely and I hope that same is the case for you, and if it wasn't, quit trying to bring me down. Your always doing that.
Introductions being what they are, and I hope you don't mind the slight insult, it's good to be at a computer blogging. Sometimes, as I have alluded to in other posts, things only seem right when you have html to bow and blow (specifically blow) to your every whim. I create fact and recoil fiction. I claim and I stutter aplenty both with equal weight. I write sins not tragedies. That is something that just doesn't happen in your everyday world. Nay, this blog is a lot like Boca Raton, you can hear claims that Amerigo Vaspuci invented the phonograph and it smells vaguely like death.
But enough pontification (note: there will be nothing but pontification from this point out) let us dive into the real matter and hue of this post. That beast is named, standardized testing. A necessary evil? Yes. The equivalent of a hepatitis infected crude brained substitute math teacher breathing on you? Perhaps. Either way it's not to pleasant and when one runs into it, preparation have to have been made. Therefore, in the pursuit of heeding my own advice I have poured a little into investing in the LSAT and we'll see how it goes. Hopefully, in subsequent blogs I can share the victory story of my conquering, but more likely I'll be begging for anyone out there on the wire to give me a job. Either way I'll be losing some dignity (implied there is EVERY lawyer joke you've ever heard).
Truthfully though, and beware readers truth can be an ugly thing in a blog dedicated to its opposite, the thing that really terrifies me, as vanilla as this sounds, is that it quantifies me. There, I said it. This test relegates me to number. With that comes several implications. First off, it validates Johnny Rivers (......and given you a number) which is loathsome, but mainly it concretely ties me to a relative value distinguishable from my peers. For instance, I may know (incredibly enough) someone who may out perform me on this test. Ipso facto, it reveals, with a certain degree of certainty, my ranking in the world. Which runs contrary to my life position thus far of rankings based on unintelligible scales of which I define the determinants and have perennially ranked number uno (it's a system based mainly on your store of jelly beans). As you can see, its a quite frightening proposition to switch systems now.
That is not to say though, that I'm absolutely going to law school. Right now, it sounded wise to take the test and so I'm doing it. In no small part because I have interests in doing it, but also because ( and I also have trouble admitting this as well) I really am not that interested at the moment in seein the Dilbert version of myself, no matter what the future paycheck may hold.
Well, now that I feel like I've exposed myself (figuratively, if I did literally you'd KNOW IT) I'd like to close with my actual thoughts on standardized testing.
Premise 1- There is almost no other way to gauge students on equal footing.
Response 1- Okay.
Premise 2- I hate it.
Response 2- I hate it and I wish I had more jellybeans.

Thanks for listening.
Cheers all,
A.J.S.

Hypodermic Hippo Hippie Hopeful

2006-09-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

Yo,

It's with a renewed vigor that I come at y'all this time. Better buckle up, this motherfucker's about to get wild.
Actually I always want to start every blog off with that and never do, so now that it's done I guess I can move onto to other topics that don't involve calling the Andrones mother'a a fuck, but beware it is about to get wild.
So how have you been? I've been okay, although my typing skills seem to be somewhat deterioting. It's interesting, so much (actually very little) goes into this blog but it's something that you, the reader, might never be aware of. You know, the haphazard keystrokes, the indefinable love, the stopping to read Tom Tomorrow's new comic, all of this is the process in which you are, hopelessly and forever, in the dark about, is what makes this what it is.
However, I guess there is something that I could do about it. I suppose I could share what goes into a blog, but that, taking note from countless droning sitcoms, smacks of both Sabrina the Teenage Witch and bad ratings, and despite having both of those going on at this time I'm putting it into my personal manifesto to not reveal the Fountain of Blog Secrets. Sorry Squad de Leon.
That being said though, I suppose it brings me to the topic of today, city living. While admittedly Athens is no Gotham there is something to be mentioned regarding living in a place that neither has a front or backyard; or anything that might in any fashion resemble step by step (for you out there counting that's two TGIF references in this update so far, see if you can catch the previous one and I think I'll try and drop one more in). Chiefly, that something is difference. It's not huge, sometimes its barely noticeable, but just like the illuminated Miller Lite sign, glowing neon above your booth, it adds and detracts to your experience's without really leaving a lasting impression on the scene.
That is not to indicate at all, that there aren't some glaring impressionable differences. Most notably is the necessity of clothing. A certain disclaimer I feel is in order here. I have never, to my face, been labeled as anything close to an exhibitionist (although most times I fancy myself one, but it really just means I like pre-season football) but living in the the context of everyone else's "workaday," world means some things up front. First, pajamas are exposed. Whilst I've never been called an exhibitionist something that I have been called with a certain amount of regularity is a man whom doesn't exactly plan out his bedroom attire. What makes that important is that, and I'm sure I am not the only one out there, when there is a need to go out doors, to take the trash out for example, one must now be aware of the fact that you are in the middle of everyone else's day. What worked in the spaces and shadows of your bedroom, no longer cuts the mustard at 12 noon on a busy street. Sorry tickle me elmo but you're going to have to stay upstairs.

There are, of course, several other distinct drawbacks, but most of them have other positive sides. Yes there is the sounds of the outside world, but although I freely admit it would drive some people crazy (just so you know as I type this I just heard a man passing my window talking on the phone about how he has to take a piss) but for me, it makes me feel vital and connected. But then again, I do have notoriously low self esteem, but at least I have a tickle me elmo. In your face Christmas of 2001.

I suppose that's about all for now sports fan, but keeps your eyes and ears tuned. Stay Keen Jelly Bean.

A.J.S.

Predicated on Perchance

2006-08-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

Dearest,
How goes it out there? I'm sure you can't complain much, after all you are reading this, and as no major slight against you, despite the obvious fact that your probably really really really enjoying reading this (put that issue of US weekly down) if your taking time to read this odds are your not exactly in the midst of a high pressure situation.With the notable exception of former Enron Exec. Ken Lay (did you know you shared blog readership with a felon, well you do, then he stopped reading. who do you killed him motherfucker?) That is not to say, however, that this blog can't be the aid for incredible stress situations. This blog is a tonic for the 98 pound weakling, a aid in domestic diplomacy and drivel all in one. In other words a lot like Jesse Jackson, but with less Palm Oil. Actually I take that back. With the exact same amount of Palm Oil.
Over here, the skies are of the clearest blue, and I've been doing a lot of a lot which is when people (me) seem to be the happiest. What I can comment on with almost complete certainty is the setting in which my latest exploits have happened. The summer backdrop here is rife with things that remind of you of summers past. Often I'm tempted to propose sleep overs and, get this, there is a sega genesis in my house. Further reinforcing the fact that my life, unto this point, has been almost complete regression. At least in the penis category, but I guess someone has to carry the unfortunate nickname of "fourth grader." I just wish it wasn't always so fucking accurate in the locker room, maybe instead the cafeteria or something.
I am constantly reminded this summer, despite the insular fun of campus, of the company I keep and how outside the normal practices of the general populous the're/we 're activities seem to be lately. That sentence was not meant as a particular affirmation of cool, but more of an analysis of behavior. Not everyone thinks that pre-season football is good excuse for whiskey but perhaps those people lack true determination, but whatever those feel good wieners would cite as the reason for our excess, I would argue I'm just trying to be a little more like Jimmy Page, and in the end, I think that's maybe what everyone should be trying to do. Baby, I'm rock and roll.

It seems, that where ever
It is,
People know
it.
Lacking any fundamental knowledge,
acknowledgement,
or rusted reason.
Really the acidic thing is
it's there.
and I know it
and you know it
and she really knows it.
tetanus shots often come on the rocks.

Cheers all,
A.J.S.

2006-08-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Oh the great fish.

2006-08-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Yo,
I know it's been sometime since I rapped at you but seeing as how I've had some car troubles I'm sure you can understand. I know everyone out there has a story out there like this, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to share mine with you. So there I was out there driving along in the festiva, god I love that car, and I was on this drive because Marsha (you remember her) kept telling me that I was her boyfriend. Cept the thing is I don't ever remember signing up for that. That's just when I come over though, on the phone it's usually a completely different story with her telling me to get me fuckin MGD out of her fridge and stay out of her lie. But then we'll both be over at Chris house, all messed up, and BLAMMO we're screwing again.
Either way I'm cruising and what should pop on but some fucking Queensryche, now that is a band, and seeing as how I couldn't think of any better riding music, I cranked it up and kept pushin on. Slammin tunes and after four beers can make a man not notice an odor but I sure could hear that sound, I knew it was the fucking radiator hose by the way it slapped harder every third time. So I pull over and as soon as I pop the hood I can tell, yup its ripped.
Now usually I carry a roll of duct tape in the fest for just this occasion but now I was remebering how Paul had, last time we were at Chris, tried to see if he could tape the Jenga thing together that he made and he didn't give me back my roll. So now I was really up the creek.
Although, many men would have given into despair, you readers know me, and thought it a perfect opportunity to fire up the bowl. So I walk over to the tree by the road and put fire to green. Still mainly thinking about Marsha, but mainly thinking about how the fuck IM going to get home......

Often times I wished my life stacked up something like this. Although it would seem at first glance Jim Anchower is hollow on the inside there is soemthing, I think, to be said for the man whose main priority in life I MGD. Although I would take issue with the man's beer choice, to the best of my reasoning show me a man that can put beer before anything and I'll show you a man who could survive a nuclear winter.
That, afterall, I think should be the true test of a man. True, some men have accumulated much material wealth, true others still have worked for a muscles the likes of which arguably surpass what nature intended, but all that melts away under threat of nuclear winter. The victor of that race is not the bright, nor the muscular nor the particularly good looking it is the man who can and willingly could drink rat piss.
Considered a repulsion by some and deft tactical training by others, this mindset is of the highest admiration. When and if there is nothing left, a man who has no floor, no sense of self, aside from feeling good and staying alive, will survive (Note the similarities that has to the sound tag of a movie).
Andrew, you might be saying, I understand your point, and your satire has left near paralyzed with laughter and stimulated my imagination to the point of inventing a new political system, but what about the chicks?
To that good sir I understand. To the average man, drinking rat piss would certainly lower your chances with the average women. However, it is these Herculean Vermin Imbibers whom stand the best chance. In this haphazardly thrown together scenario full of logic holes and half truths, THERE ARE NO OTHER MEN ON THE PLANET. THEIR SHEER TENACITY TO EXIST HAS LED TO THEM TO THE HOLY LAND. They are the last men on earth. In the land of the blind, the man with one eye is a king. So also it is with rat piss.

Until next time the is WKRP saying BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGER! (Johnny fever quote, recognize)

He ran away screaming, He thought I was a communist.

2006-06-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

Hello there,
It's been difficult keeping up with the things that I fill my life with, as opposed to the things that actually fill my life, and I really haven't had much time for a blog or ending sentence fragments with prepositions. In fact, I haven't had much time for anything, save making that ill-fated Connie Chung song, my humblest apologies Maury, and I suppose my collective fan base has suffered(roses are in the mail). However, I throw myself at the mercy of your court. My musings have not ceased, in fact, they have probably grown in number (why just the other day I made the pithiest remark about Tim Russert's face looking like a Fanny), despite the lack of committing them to keyboard. The witticisms need to be kept for prosperities sake though, and I surely will not keep them from the great and rich life they so surely deserve, after all I am a liberal I let things live.
My boat hasn't been traveling all that far from the shore lately, but I've been tied down (see above) with things that have kept me homebound. Which brings up several questions to me. Chief among them is how I used to be able to get away so easily. I can't help but feel subject to all the inertia that kept the guy in Ground Hog day asking Bill if he needed any insurance. I live in constant fear of becoming that man(am I right, or am I right?). The longer I live though, the more I can't help but reason that living to a higher ideal perhaps is not completely avoiding and shirking the hurdles that are thrown at you by waking up every morning, but perhaps instead the ability to live in and through the means by which you eke out your living. It seems rapidly the case that lives get sucked out of people because something that they wouldn't choose to participate in if they could, steals the time form their day, time they could be spending on the jungle gym. A national tragedy. I'm on a jungle gym right now.
But on the other hand, those could easily be the ramblings of someone who is trying to talk himself into being able to handle a life of complete corporate castration, I don't think anyone out there cares if junior employee B sometimes enjoys reading Sonnets, Lord knows I don't and why should they. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if no one cares, and your just living for you, then get what you need and find out how you need to get it and then start living. It's a sham otherwise. I mean, did you know Alice from the Brady Bunch spoke fluent Mandarin?
It's late and as always seems to be the case I get stupidly philosophic when I get tired, maybe it's the slow decay of my carbon that's getting to me, it often is and I suspect the doctor is fibbing to me when he says it's not an issue. I suspect one of these days, that decay is going to kill me.

COoOoOome with me on a Fantastic Voyage

2006-05-15T17:50:00.002-07:00

Yo,
Party people, have you jumped aboard the train? In order that you might ride it, ride it? If you haven't neither have I so don't feel bad as I believe you might have to compensate the QCDJ's as their revenue streams have found themselves somewhat less than they once were.
Week eight of the 10 (11) weeks left in the 4 year Odyssey has gone quite well despite its infancy but I just can't help but wonder the following: when and where do professors get off teaching and sounding like they do. Admittedly there are dumb people in class. Yes, they are hungover. Yes, they are apathetic, despondently, hopped up on things and capable of watching Bloodsport. However, what in the name of fuck allows them to talk to us in the manner that they do. I do realize they probably are much brighter than I (note that right there I almost wrote eye) and that there life has probably been much more full than mine will ever dare to be. By that same token though I am human I just don't get why they talk to us like we bathe in our own waste or something. Granted I am not exactly always tripping from the light fantastic but I don't think that means i require, in the most monotone voice this side of Ferris's day off, to be reminded exactly how many times a professor was emailed about a question that they went over in class. Sure, I suppose we should listen all of the time, but who does that? For the sake of the gosh surely out 100 people 15 might garble what you said and a further couple might even (fudgedebowit) have legitimate excuses for missing or being inattentive. Does these students queries deserve the mono-lash back normally reserved for chastising a 3 year old for attempting to eat dirt? I think not. Surely one could understand that, and we'll over look the significance of the "it's you freakin job anyway," logic, people (notice not simply students) sometimes are unclear on logic or directions, perchance this might indicate lack of clear explanation or elocution. But probably not, I mean you did go to Brown.

Disclaimer: I'm not actually that hostile about the topic, in fact sometimes I quite like it because it allows me to have a reference point to professors and small indoor pets that I do like and get something out of. That being said I know it rattles several of my peers cages and I do come to the defense of the common man.

A dear roommate of mine now tarries to this machine to employ it's computing power so I must leave you (and him, although you won't have to deal with the cheetos residue he will have to) and let you embark on whatever good tasks you may find yourself doing. Live Strong with wine. Ted "Crazy Horse," Damascus in '08.

Cheers.

Let me introduce to you, the one and only Billy Spears.

2006-04-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Hello,
What's been happening? That question is inherently rhetorical this time (as opposed to some of the other posts in which I fully expect you to answer out loud) but this time its different because of the sheer mass of things that must have transpired in your life since the last time I rapped at you. The short answer for the brief hiatus from these blank html pages was/is quite simple. There were some administrative issues and those coupled with the trivialities of preparing many many many many many many writing related assignment temporarily dissuaded me from doing much leisure thought,let alone enumeration of that thought onto an e-page.
But that, as they say, is that and my triumphant return (cue the heralds) is now upon us. However, that does not mean that much has changed in the overall life of this author. In fact this update probably finds me more mired in the usual sludgery that I try and avoid than usual. Despite these muddy happenings and goings on I have found time lately for coffee and the OMC album so life has not been altogether intolerable.
I found myself re-reading the intelligent Investor, and after all these times I can still find no flaw in the logic. For those non-initiates ( aside: a book that merits your consideration) the basic premise of the book is on value investing and the practices of it. Simply revolutionary in its time, it simultaneously broke up large "old-crowd," firms like Kuhn Loebe and put in thier place many small firms that until then could only be seen as outside players whom would never have the principle contacts the established players held that appeared to "dictate," the fickle world of finance.
In contrast, with value investing many evaluation tools were used to gauge the worth of the stock, ranging from components on the balance sheet to what sector the company occupied. As painstakingly obvious as this might seem, it was not stumbled upon until great deals of money had been needlessly thrown at many companies who were then successful for the sheer might that capitol-intensive investment firms could throw at the blue bloods. Not no more.
Every time I read the book though, I find myself trying to find the flaws or drawbacks. One need not be in the market for very long before you realize that with every strategy of scheme there are weakness that either are or aren't addressed with that distinction usually fleshing out the overall viability of said method. For the life of me I can't argue with evaluating the overall long term potential of a stock based on its fundamentals. Save for Day trading which is in and of itself its own beast ( See: Joe Randa) and is unique. The only ammendum ( a weak criticism at best) would be the speculative market place that can exist more and more in global communication age. Increased communicability, it would seem, has not increased our ability to quell rumors and unwarranted price inflation but in fact has encouraged it. Note the popularity of the song " Laughy Taffy."

Well that's it for this round up. I hope after this re up rodeo you found yourself sufficiently in wonderment as to how you survived these last two weeks with out my senseless tirades. As for advice, how's about skipping that one last drink of the evening. Instead opting for a double. Crack life on the head. Avoid cracking your head on life. Or putting crack into your life. Or playing Life while on crack. Or playing Life while alive. Or having a head while doing crack attempting to live. Or avoiding crack.

Cheers

That don't work

2006-04-10T18:49:00.000-07:00

Hey,
It's nice to see you again it's been some time since we've seen each other old friend.

No time for a long post tonight, I just felt obligated to inundate mass(re:25) people with my thoughts for the afternoon so it looks as if you'll just have to suffer through the brain droppings.
Putting things of is an unusual beast is it not? There is nothing quite like not doing something, I find it very unique. I think the question should be framed the following way. If we, and we can assume this is true at least in my case, am inherently putting things off is it because these things i actually don't want to do them or is it because I want to do the other things? My answer is almost always the former. Which means several things, first I should shut up and start shaving, second why is it that I actively avoid doing things? Some would argue social inertia but I like to think that I am bland. Just bland.

I take all that back. I'm riveting and sometimes I can't even stand the thrill ride that is my life. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go play risk. Try and watch Step by Step and not think of Cody beating his wife.

Be real.

From the Back to the Middle and around again...

2006-04-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

Hey there campers,
My oh my, how have you been? I've been worried sick! I was asked recently what the overarching theme of this blog was. In fact this question, it was posed to me not by someone I know but rather a Swede whom regularly reads my site because it "befuddles," him. To his reckoning my rants,although they strike him as interesting, lack both depth and coherency. Sound like anyone you know? I could not be more pleased. When I began this blog I suppose I did entertain certain flights of fancy regarding prolific and interesting things. With posts dedicated to some sort of centrality that would grant both this page and myself untold wealth and 'nassy. It would seem though, after several months that the wealth and the 'nassy are both still in the mail (my condolences women I'll be there soon) but the blog endures. Take that Sweden.

Which of course does beg the question, to what if anything, is this blog supposed to accomplish? Funny you should ask that reader. I guess I rarely ask myself that question and perhaps my blog reflects it. There is a saying older than me that reads something to the effect of "the reflection often mirrors its reflector," perhaps the fate of this blog was sealed the minute I touched finger to pad. That being said though, I really do enjoy the considerable freedom I have allowed myself on the html canvas. With no theme, but to glorify myself, I have the flexibility to do or say anything I want with no recourse, ex...

I RULE!!!!!!!

If you reading this your tuned in for ramblings and as I've said before, i do try to please.

This does though make two things imperative. One, that under no circumstances will there be any more substance to this blog. That I can promise you. Things discussed in this blog will have no more intrinsic value that my autograph, of that, I can assure you. Second is a bit more slippery. This component must remain intriguing to the reader. I often find myself wondering what exactly anyone wants to hear. I have reconciled it the following way. To begin I didn't know precisely why I started this blog (I'm sure you understand) but I did/do enjoy the half duplex of information and continue to keep it running. Much to the dismay of the arch-villains always trying to shut me down. You'd be surprised how persistent The Joker can be when he wants something. When something is of value to the author I think that is when it becomes of value to the reader and not a moment before, but that would be if I was trying to compose something of actual merit which is,crystal clearly, not the case here. Therefore, my textually driven farces will remain dedicated to nothing in particular in direct defiance of both Sweden and Slyvia Plath. The lighter the topic the better.

Make of it what you will. Your words can be your therapy as mine might or might not be to me. I'm not letting you that close. Something things you have to keep for yourself. For instance I really DID like the Devil Wears Prada, I'm sooo last year, and I did like Jodeci.

In regards to an actual post my day has been quite pleasant although it started with one of the mist intensely chaotic mornings that I have had in quite some time. Only after mornings like that do you appreciate why people can actually be uppity after a morning full of stressors. For a man wiser than myself it might make him appreciate his problems in scope and comparison to those of a man of similar age in Somalia, but alas I am fickle. At least for Comedy's sake.

Take care dear vigilantes I hope this post finds you well. As for advice, try getting over that fear of soap suds, live a little, pump it, just do it and take it the extreme.

Be Real.

Sit on it Mercurtio

2006-03-30T06:15:00.001-08:00

Dear Readers,
Hello there and I hope all is well with you. As these keys click and clatter I find myself wondering why it is that I always blog in the evening. I suspect that I always hope against hope that some outrageous event will transpire whether it be thought provoking or a yarn worth ripping. However, knowing what I know now, namely that I've been domesticated, I'm trying to incorporate blogging after my morning consitutional and directly before I paint. That sounded together didn't it?

Tragically, I'm not that beautiful however what little glimmer of purity I do give off has and will be amplified by the weather outside today. As I've mentioned in earlier posts it sure seems as if the good/bad dichotomy allows for weather enjoyment. It's always funny how something that so many people hate allows us to enjoy other things. Thank you Jeff Goldbum. " BE STILL CODY."

The fed raised again, something that I think everyone had to be expecting. For the first time in quite a long time I think that the reason for the increase had a lot to do with social pressure. This being the first meeting that "Pedagogue Ben," has chaired had he taken any action other than that perceived as a Greenspanian move he would have incited a veritable fiscal pandemic. Had he moved to stop or ease the rate that in and of itsef would have caused more stir than anything that an actual quarter point could and is doing. At least in the short term and it is my understanding that happens to be all that people care about these days anyway. Isn't it Shakespeare who said that a long time is comprised of an infinite aggregate of short runs?

All other things being equal however that future of this country looks shakier and shakier with the dollars constant weakening and the penchant of other emerging economies to hesitate on thier past policy of "open-arm," lending it would seem America,or more precisely its leaders, seem hell-bent on turning what was once a semi-solid foundation into a very public house of cards. I believe what I like the least about these on-going trends is the link of myself personally to the attrition of the prosperity. Nary a day do I turn to a news station or pick up the paper do I not learn that we, namely me, as the American worker is overstayed, underqualified and overpaid. When did that start becoming the case? I personally resent the allegations. I mean i voted for Ruben Studdard how much more qualified can an American be? Although it would be an obvious truism that blue collar America has priced itself out of the lucrative positions of yesteryear it is not too late to get in on the manufacturing opportunities afforded to your father. It only requires a simply relocation to Sri Lanka, which despite the travel brochures, is lovely almost year round. Expect in the hail of gunfire season, which is milder by the lake.
As I close I must emphatically endorse V for Vendetta if not for its veiled references to large scale American tendencies and blunders than at least for the sheer quality of the cinema. It is movie going at its best. Watch or get stuck up.

Bright light city gonna....

2006-03-27T10:32:00.000-08:00

Set my soul on fire,
Hey there world, I do hope that you've been okay as I have been more than excited to return to you. It feels nice to be back at your bosom hoping and feeling that everyday spent there will lead to one more. It has so far, and I'm not complaining as you've been quite good to me over the years and I thank you. Boobs are good. Generally speaking.
The recent absence from updates has been directly related to a conscious decision not to stay connected to the information superhighway while on holiday. It was something that I milled over a great deal. Although it is (astoundingly/astronomically) difficult to leave all the information man has accumulated unto this point in time at your fingertips, I did rather enjoy it. Not that I mind staying connected and not because i thought my addiction to the internet was any kind of hindrance. Nay goodsir, the reason why i doth did depart from the H.M.S. COMP was between betwixt her and I lay something far more sinister than the average persons reliance on facebook. What existed between my fair lady and I was connection.
Although I am not altogether paralyzed at the thought of being completely dependent on something I truly despise the notion of something (not of emotional significance, meaning mom your still safe) being of such paramount importance that I cannot distance myself from it for a few days. What is due to Caesar give to Caesar and what is due to God give to God. I try, as best I can, to let my "inner,' (defined as the self not nulled to death by Mega Man and veiled references to GOP instability) be as distanced from the physical pleasure world as possible. Therefore, i left my internet connection at home in pursuit of the higher ideal. The one that allows me to live and make merriment with no aid or crutch. Straight Andrew Mode. For better or for Worse, but with boobs.
The holiday itself, to address the former issue indirectly and the not as of yet spoken issue of the holiday itself head on, was a romp. A true testament to human decadence. I realized when I got back that I truly made no one happy but myself, probably to a fault. In fact I laid by a pool for two hours having to go to the restroom chiefly because I didn't want to get up. Also I was stealing candy from deserving children to satisfy my sugar fix. It was nice to share a sunbeam or two with those you care about the most and that I did. Taking in sun and fun in an environment that not only allowed, but encouraged the kind of counter self-respecting behavior in which I indulge whenever possible. Kids everywhere were without candy and Las Vegas will forever be changed.
Today specifically has been wonderful, aided by the weather, but wonderful on its own merits. The start of a new quarter is always saturated with " it gives me a new chance to think that I'm going to not get drunk everyday, but i probably will,LOL" conversations. Although, I both agree and understand, the reason why I like the beginnings of the quarter is it allows me to see the actual reason why I'm taking the class. I've been a student for so long that I, in what seems like decades ago, have almost completely lost a sense of connectivity with the outside working and existing universe and can only compare classes with-in an academic construct. In the initial phases of the quarter I can often see the rhyme and connection of the classes to actual goings on in a world that I anticipate joining right after I start the commune.
I hope everything is good for you as Spring Time can be difficult for many young people. A mans thoughts turn to fancy and I'm sure that young women's thoughts turn to something other than baking although I'm not sure to what.... But whatever the case may be my sincere hope is that this spring finds you in renewed spirits and renewed zeal. Perhaps you'll even try that new Zesty Ranch dressing. I've been told its quite good. Trust me.

I guess they don't have telephones where-ever you were at?

2006-03-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
Finals and my life had been spiraling to the point of madness however, I'm happy to report, them being over, I have turned out to be a better man after all. I suppose there is something to it. In fact just two days ago I threw out a "me first and the gimmie gimmie's" album that has been broken and sitting in my album case for a year. How's that for resolve, David. ( Note: David is the first name of a particularly ornery professor whose special brand of student per student life prognosis administered an almost lethal dosage of getcha life in order to me recently)
I've watched so much television today my eyeballs actually hurt. That in and of itself is quite a feat. Something that has not been my case in quite some time. So its kind of refreshing to be back into the swing of things. Sampling being American isn't all bad, all of the time I guess. The real accomplishment of my watching today though has to go to the hour spent watching nothing. I could, and maybe should, detail everything that I watched but for that hour I truly watched nothing. At least nothing of significance. I mean i tried to watch things. I tried to give it a chance but how many times can you really watch the same show of M*A*S*H (isn't it cool I can do that?)....The answer is 4. You can watch the same episode 4 times and then it absolutely becomes intolerable. Hawkeye blends from witty to smug to offensive fairly rapidly and during the last stage the empathy that comes with feeling for all the Korean women that needlessly (and i do mean needlessly) fall into the dark canyon of human comedy reaches such a high that you almost want to adopt a child. Luckily, the Brady Bunch was being aired on the next channel and that urge was promptly squashed. Alice, just MARRY THE MEATMAN.I mean his name is Sam and he cuts meat for a living. You have found the pinnacle of man hood, lock-him down and marry him.
Truthfully though, contrary to the joy you may or may not be getting out of the shakiness of this blog entry, the relaxation has done me well. Though its obvious it doesn't bode well for my communication skills. As of late the only real talking that I've had to do is to answer one word questions that are posed by mother that more often than not have to deal specifically with dinner. Love is Love.
Too much TV a bad thing or a good thing? In discernible quantifiable doses probably a good thing. In fact if you couldn't turn off the noodle every once in a while my money's on insanity setting in rather quickly. Luckily to help navigate the murky waters of your mind the H.M.S. Television exists. And what a strong ship she be. One can without a doubt kill an entire evening with little to "show," for it. (Pick your-self off the floor from laughing and continue reading) I do think that once in a while, despite my confederacy of dunces tone, its good. I need to not think every once in a while and it also lets me get back in touch with my generation. I, like you probably, get far too little of what seems to be very popular as of late. I would like to use, as the Flagship of the New Wave, the E! Channel.
I still cant fully understand exactly what it is. I mean other than a gigantic consumer machine wrapped up and posing like it actually is news. I mean they really had a breaking bulletin on Isaac Hayes quitting South Park. Which is, quite literally, the closest thing to news reported that I saw. Also as a sidenote Mark McGrath (of just letting buildings all over the world crumble fame) is on one of those crappy shows. Wowee wow wow. God does punish those who wrong him.
Well the posts, with some luck, should be more forthcoming and frequent. Now that the downpour has gone from torrential to gin and tonic in my immediate engagement planner. I'll call you at 2 am. Sorry for the non-cohesion.

A link for dat azz

2006-03-06T20:22:00.001-08:00

http://www.insidebayarea.com/business/ci_3565557

Shout, Shout, let it all out.

2006-03-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

Hey Cutie,
How have you guys been? I've been okay just dealing with the times and struggles of being a Simmons in this topsy turvy world. Which, yes, to satisfy your curiosity does involve shoe contracts, but in the end its quite difficult. I mean at the end of the day I am not a role model. I am a student. Do not envy me.

These last couple of days have had me thinking more about the potential job market in '07 i.e. Graduation day. It would seem the softening of the economy (in relative terms to industrial jobs) would be good for me, Andrew, the potential white collar worker. Despite that fact, I still find myself wondering about the relative strength of the business sector directly after I graduate. This is not to say that I don't still daydream of that contruction job someday. Wearing a hard hat and posting pictures of girls in Bikinis on the back of my timecard which is already dirtied with grease. In fact I've been packing my lunch in a pail with a "Val Halen is for Pussies," sticker for the last couple of weeks just to try it out. But again despite these things, I can't help but feel as if perhaps the "pendulum," of job availability will not be in full back swing within the next two years.

While most Mens thoughts turn to that of young ladies in the spring mine,as of late, as stirred towards making myself as a competitive job candidate as I can. Absract, I know. Sometimes the dreamy eyed idealist liberal that used to live inside these bones gives a tremor in my 'noggin trying to counter-balance the inherent self-centered nature of participating in a successful market driven, free economy. " Daydream, live and paint. Make something beautiful and then spit on. Tell someone Jackson Pollock was a visionary when in reality you think he was an egotistical, one trick pony. Light something on fire and ponder what gives that energy its energy." These all seem like trivial endeavors that were once important to a much freer spirit. I suppose while most people buy birkenstocks for the first time during their undergraduate years, I in contrast, have put mine on e-bay.

Things aren't all bad about being a corporate raider though. I must admit that. First, there are a lot more women in heels, which contradictory to the "sexual harassment handbook," is a very large pro bono of working in the world of tie pins and action item lists. There is the sense of external accomplishment. Mothers around the world are aggregately more pleased to here that you are Assistant Vice President of Accounts Payable then when they receive a collect call from Kazikistanian village asking for plane money home for two because she really does have to meet Irgugurelal as she's the new love of your life. I guess mine has always been the struggle of duality. Trying desperately to keep something organic and vital alive inside the cool husk of significant marginal profits,computer networks and routing tables. It hasn't always been easy but it has come naturally. Sometimes I forget that it's very hard to change one's own hardwiring and it seems as if lately I realize more and more that mine has a lot more to do with Steve Eikenberry than Steve Jobs.

My immediate past has been chalk full of classes, projects and papers (over-looking the undergrad version of Alice in Wonderland "Oh My!" I write on...) something that I am none to fond of. However, I will share with you,reader,the converse of my schooling. Namely, Spring Break. Look it's caps locked that means its for real. The fact that I am going on vacation non-withstanding what's important is the off-time from the constant of shlocking to class and wondering when and where a pop quiz might live come from. That thought is fit for neither man nor beast. I think someone important said that.

Well, like all good things this post most come to an end. I look forward to our next encounter as it will most likely see me praising the spring break trip a significant amount more. So tune in next post for the extolling of bikinis. Until then, don't wax your ears, you can hear the same and you won't poke your eardrums. Which hurts. Don't hurt, don't swab.
Cheers

Sit down, shut up and get out a sucker.

2006-02-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
Wow, there is nothing really like being sick. Pushed to the brink of sanity it is only here where a person wonders if it actually all is worth it. This is the one time that a person can be completely narcissistic. Your only concern is you. Liberating as this may be there are those who don't see it that way. Namely your roommates. Although as far as Im concerned I don't understand why an exfoliating rub down is that out of common practice. I mean I'm sick, and I need some help. Obviously my pours aren't going to exfoliate themselves.

That all being said, I've always been a mind over matter sickness adherent. For better or for worse i try and out think the disease. After all if existence is perception, perhaps I can block out hemorrhoids goes the ethos. However, this current bout is testing the ardent nature of the philosophy. Rarely have I been this shook. It's difficult taking bedrock and making it bedpan. More difficult still to swallow (sorry for the gross-out) the bed-pan, but it seems every once in a while your personal foundations shift and it appears that I may be dangerously close to losing some philosophic footing. I guess i really should have bought those mental hiking boots and to think, before now i thought QVC was a scam...

To me being sick always underscores pretty deep thought, I mean what else have you to do? In fact , its almost like old hat at this point. I lay there, prostrate, wearing lipstick, wondering what I did to deserve the headache and the only thought that seems to run through up there is "what did I think about last time?" An interesting point Andrew. What did you think about last time? Was it something of note?, was it something tangible? Although the answer to both those questions is probably not, it still merits some consideration. I like to define intelligence as the capacity for abstract though, therefore, it's difficult for me to render one person stupid and one person smart seeing as how the abstraction for two people are inherently different. In fact from a third party perspective (which is how much SHOULD be analyzed it seems to me ) many things have been accomplished by people all across the intelligence spectrum not rendering any of the acheivements more important than any other one. In fact one might go as far to say as the propensity for simplistic abstract thought might produce a more benignly beneficial product. Although the pet rock took no stroke of genius it has less potential for evil than does cold fusion.

Befuddled logic yes, but it believe it was Yoda who said "try? think?....do or do not there is no try." Action is not a consequence of intelligence. Lobbying for greater social equity or more toilet paper in the dorm bathrooms requires no higher logic. Only action, and in some cases, higher logic would be bad. Emphasize the action and not the thought, the Henry David and not the not the Ralph Waldo. I mean Yoda lifted a fucking X-Wing out of the mud. Deal 'wit dat.

Back to being sick though, the first thing to go is your tolerance of anything other than the easiest possible way to do anything. Being as how you have minimal energy to expend in the first place to see or be made to, expend energy in a less than efficient manner can make one furious. "Just freaking pick a channel and stick with it," one might be heard to say.
Hostility is not a suit that I particularly wear well and knowing that I try and reconcile my noticeably shorter fuse with the fact that I am sick. No one really cares if you are or not, but you are and you must cope. Personal tests,outside of the timed variety, can prove to be difficult.

Well that about raps it up for me. As for advice for the day I guess recommending washing your hands frequently to avoid getting sick would be a bit preachy, but then you probably read Dear Abbie so your used to it. Wash those hands.

Sometimes snake eyes can bring down the house.

2006-02-20T15:20:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
A pleasant Monday evening to you all. I'm sure that you've been well as it seems most have been. I,personally, can't seem to shake the feeling today that although I am completely certain that I don't have anything that I should (we'll overlook the fact that "should" could easily be defined as serving at a soup kitchen etc.) be doing something else. Which is not an altogether pleasant feeling. I'm sure many of you have felt things similar to these lingering paranoia pangs but believe you me this is the worst case I have suffered in this many years.Metaphorcal red creeping into the corners of my eyes. It's almost making the slow transition into physical symptom manifestation, making my stomach uneasy and my feet itch. I suppose I could explore the reasons why this could be going on....

1.) Perhaps I completed a task not to its entirety, and subsequently am feeling a lack of accomplishment from my lackluster performance (sorry Kerry maybe next year). However, although I will grant you that the possibility of me flubbing something up is distinctly large, I hardly think that anything I participate in could be this detrimental. At least to me. I try very hard and am quite successful at limiting the amount of activities I involve myself in that could potentially bring harm on my house. After all, I have the Simmons crest to defend.

2.) I realized that time is probably better spent doing something other than watching step by step re-runs while writing in some blog. Although these are both noble endeavors there are those that claim (and I'm not giving value to either sentiment) that time allocation is important to task management. That being said have you seen the episode where Al becomes a women and J.T. realizes it? I thought so.

3.) Comic books don't correlate with real life to the degree to which I was lead to believe. Albeit they serve as huge metaphors and aid greatly in the art of attracting women. It would seem as if both chicks and society don't dig wearing a cape as much as I thought they would. Tragic.

4.) I actually am forgetting to do something. Very unlikely.
(ed note: it was the authors great great grandfather whom after talking a much winded Llyod George into getting some Arby's on the way to sign the Treaty of Versailles, was heard to say upon being informed that Mr. George was now late to the meeting, was heard to say "Oh crap."

Although I recognize that there are many other candidates for reasons which I would being feeling these trepidations I believe those to be the leaders. Too bad that partying 'till five a.m in Damascus was last weeks excuse. I should pull it together.

To you the reader, I bid you adieu, I wish I could spend more time with you but alas, there is work to be done, and, ironically enough it's to be spent honing my writing skills via a Junior Comp class. With any luck, next time I rap at you it will be from the guided pen of a junior collegiate level writer. But I wouldn't get your hopes up.

So Andrew walks into a bar...

2006-02-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,
Many a post ago I found myself wondering what exactly the purpose of this life was. Although I had flirted with many "religions," in order that I might find some solvency, I lacked direction. Little did I know that these escapades into self were merely a harbinger of the real reason I was put onto the planet.
You see rapping is not an easy game, in fact often I have heard brutal tales of slaying, and raping laced with promises of vast amounts of wealth entwined in my peers lyrics. However, these trials and tribulations cannot stop that which is pre-ordained and my inevitable rise to rap superstardom is, at this point, pseudo-unavoidable. I believe I exude all characteristic that I have observed in successful hip hop groups. A message, a swagger, a large penis, self-inflated thoughts about ones own penis and a dope basketball game (see:freakin brothers every way like MJ) that being said this rise will not be easy. As I have learned, a rise to fame is littered with the carcasses of those less fortunate. Wangsters, who presumably thought it was nothing but drug slinging and partying all the way to No Limit solidarity. This is where my line of demarcation sticks out and separates the wannabes from the always will be.
Mine is an effortless flow, timeless, a greenslevian compositional strucure with both pantameter and rhythm that makes women, as well as men, both swoon and turn thier thoughts to love and glocks. Couple that with my innate understanding of the mean streets of various places and the fact the my street cred rise five fold daily, then I think your probably onto what so many already know. My destiny is inevitable.

I truly don't know where that came from, and I suppose I don't have to explain it to you. My weekend, and the reason for my vaca from the blogging world, was filled with all things Kentucky. A greater state I am not yet convinced exists. Normally when one visits an area (or at least I)constantly am reminded that I am indeed a visitor to the place. Lest this reminder be via a lack/shock/ of understanding at local culture and practices or by an actual citizen poignantly reminding you that here is certainly not your "here." That being said though Kentucky, to my experience , shatters all those previously held stereotypes of travel. The people and citizenry are genuine to a fault making to both easy to discern local culture and to adapt to it, and adapt I did. The entire state allows and encourages things which, unto this point in my life, had been held largely taboo (i.e. shooting guns at things) this however is readily accepted practice. The cold steel and warm blood pumping through you are the only things that you feel when holding firearms (I presume, as I never really held one.)
The overall disposition of the people is what sets it apart. Truly allowing you to feel like a welcomes participant in life, there is no trying to find the hidden underbelly of the culture and nightlife. There is no invasion of cult beliefs and social circles digging harder and harder to find something real. No, in these ale houses both the shalacked wood and friendly drunks are your friend. Making one feel delightfully included and shamed at his or her own lack of openness and social graces.

Being back is a bit of a bummer though, to return to cold weather is always the worst way to return. Wind as invisible bullets makes being a pedestrian a combat activity and unluckily I am ill-equipped to deal with the hostile Charlie. We will see how I cope. Hopefully there is less crying than the last time I was in a combat zone (Hallmark Store). With that horrific excuse for attempted humor, reader, I leave you. The rest of my night must be lived and although it might be bland there's going to be a lot of it, and what isn't made better by vast quantities? Except Ricki Lake.

BE REAL.

On my street, these are the fables.

2006-02-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

Hello,
The weathers pretty good and so it seems like everyone else is in relation to it. Which is a pleasant change from the horrific torture school that seemed to be these last couple of day. I don't know exactly what all the deal was but it seemed like the colder it got subsequently people got angrier. Not that I blame them I suppose there is a lot to be angry about. My main qualm with this kind of weather is really the extra preparations it takes to begin your day. I would venture that (in reality I guess I hadn't realized it until I wrote that sentence) I'm a minimalist when it comes to preparation and related taskes for better or for worse. Head first diving is my swimming event and as it goes I'm relatively successful with it. Where the fuck does weather get off trying to encroach on that? The sanctity of determining my own level of involvement is the one thing that I have left in this slowly decaying universe and the indifferent hand a fickle natural god is trying to pry it from my grasp. Seeing as how I have no control over this I find myself trying to pack this extra time into exactly the same amount of prep time that I would allocate for a normal day. Which, other than inherently problematic, is also not very successful despite my best efforts. Trying to coat,hat and glove up in the time that it normally takes one to put thier shoes on (did I mention that I also have TO put shoes on?) can invariably bring some detriment to ones ability to effectively be on time places. I'm not changing though, why should I? The weather is the one who sucks.
That being said everything is flowing quite nicely as of late wouldn't you say? Although I am aware that there is a small faction of you reading that aren't enrolled at some university I will echo my peers and collectively exhale at mid-terms rapping to thier conclusion and duck as to not get hit with the wind current that so often takes place when an entire university decides to breath. I only duck during the briefest first moment though, because after the initial push thier is nothing nicer than a campus relaxed. I believe it was Euripides whom said " Slay not thy beast, lest the campus itself be relaxed." He was spitting truth. It's fun to walk through that door held open out of sincerity as opposed to forced social mores. Although, nothing detracts from the fun of exploiting forced social mores. Ever keep sneezing just to receive the bless yous?
Can there be no greater discontent than that which seems to be building for this mid-term election? It would seem as if both parties are fearful although for different reasons. I suppose I'm the only liberal not completely convinced that the democrats have the leadership exo-skeleton to support the living flesh and blood that comes with real majority power. It seems as if over the last twenty years the solon's of the left have let their once whipped and honed leadership tactics boil and disintegrate into the rough equivalent of hearing Teddy Kennedy talk, which is a droning sound followed by the thought "I wonder if I could still spell Chapaquitic ?" Here we are though, like it or not, and although the credit can not surely fall to the rank and file democrats for turning this ride in America it's here. I think anyone can plainly see this majority of support was the President's to lose and he lost it. A sitting President with approval numbers in the doldrums. A party with scandals at almost every level of thier leadership and congressional teams, the liberals have haphazardly walked into what seems to be a situation in which they can "steal," America back,as it where, but the real question is are they prepared? The answer in my mind if a resounding no. When conservatives wrestled away majority from the Democrats all those many years back it was done under a flag of calculation and conformity. It rode a wave of many revolutionary tactics such as mass mailing and contemporary push-pull polling. In stark contrast, this current paradigm shift has been induced not by the potential receiver of power but moreso by inaptitude on the other side of the aisle. Albeit, like many I too feel strongly that a change by any measure is what this country desperately needs, to whom to do we turn to steer this great country now re-dedicated to liberal ideals? Harry Reid? John Kerry? Hillary Clinton? Remember these names and contrast them with thier intrinsic negative polarities. Recall that although this country has deemed it necessary for a change in leadership, the so called conservatives are still here and earning thier names. Social issues are as strident as ever with many of them facing us prominently and robustly as a country. Does the liberal leadership structure have an idealist whom can carry Alabama and South Carolina on his or her back? If the answer is yes, which I'm not convinced it is, what values does this person extol? Why has he/she the right to guide this country? By default? This line of logic has very real and substantial outcomes the most powerful of which leaves an American voting public without a party to turn to, one inept and the other unable.
Well I suppose that's about all for me. Keeping bundling up and bundling down, just keep bundling. I hope that this afternoon holds in store for you what it has in store for me, throwing balls at pins. Which is of course, more political commentary. Until then, get a damn haircut will you?

I've been thinking about getting a little place down by the lake.

2006-02-03T11:30:00.001-08:00

Hey y'all,
Another action packed (KATHOOM!) edition of Andrew Rant, how the heck are you? Pretty good over here. Another Friday rolls around and I can already feel the palpable hue that is the weekend barely being able to holds itself back from tidle-waving (sp?) all over the collective beaches of Athens, Ohio. Although I'm not exactly willing to completely assign the weekend such a blatant favoritism over the weekdays I will say that by fan applause alone the weekends win hands down, and I'm usually driven by the huddled masses. Ask my furbie.
All in all though I just can't seem to shake what occupies me on the weekdays, in order that I might fully lose myself in the weekends. I suppose, stepping back, that I really don't know whether to consider thaT bad or good however, I will say that I try to lose myself in every endeavor and since I can't I'm a little bent out of shape. Perhaps it's the endless involvement into the sphere of academia, but God help me, sometimes I wake up with accounting problems in my head. Although I am aware that there are those less fortunate than I, I truly challenge anyone to spend an evening alone with accounting thoughts eating up your brain and then come talk to me. Suddenly Sudan doesn't seem that bad.
Of course that's in poor taste, (After all, from what I understand there's not much to taste over there period), but what I'm driving at is when something breaks the inner-sanctuary that is your private thoughts it can be a little disorienting. Often I find myself digging in my neighbors trash looking for shreds of long forgotten Eggo's and wondering is this really what I want for myself. Then though I inevitably take a bite, PURE TRASH CAN HEAEN. Baby, you haven't lived until you've gotten down sideways to wheeze on some trash marinated waffle. The thrill is more than the human central nervous systems was designed to stand which is perhaps why I usually cough blood for several days afterward.
On to lighter news though, Today a ship nearing Egypts safe harbors sank in the wee hours of the morning, leaving many dead and many more wondering what the cause was. Apparently, whatever it was, it was something that elicits much secrecy in the press, as of now (3:00 pm) I still have no idea as to exactly what the cause was, other than the ship just being plum afraid of Egypt. This may leave many to ponder exactly what kind of haphazard rules to we have in place that such an old boat is deemed seaworthy, it has many people up in arms about the lack of words sensitivity that no one seems to be giving this international story the tragedy title that it deserves. Albeit, I feel/think these things to I can't help but share my overriding sentiment which is, wow ships sink very rarely. I had no idea that people were still transported by sea from place to place which I guess is something that I really should have guessed, but the news that this story is making must mean one thing. There hasn't been a ship sinking in quite some time otherwise I would have heard about it. That's great news. One thing humanity has conquered, significantly less sinking, personally I couldn't be any more proud. It's difficult to tame the sea, it, as many animals, is just as wild as the tempest winds. In fact, some "scientists," seem to think that its wildness may be directly proportional with "weather patterns," "geo-graphic phenomena," "tectonic plate shifts," and "alf," but whatever the reason/s we seem to be coming out on top of the fight.
Foreign media and international relations is something that never ceases to amaze me. Personally, I believe the main reasons why its so engrossing is the complete apathy of the American public to EVERYTHING. It's remarkable. Admittedly, the nature of our social tint has allowed the media to paint almost everything outside these borders as a potential hostile zone, so maybe it's not shocking to Joe Citizen when something gets blown up/torn down/installed/waged war upon/starved/diseased/systematically eradicated/cut off/cut in/bribed/murdered/given a Mellow Yellow, but even still someone should probably at least FEIGN an interest for God's sake. I believe from the President down, the American social conscious that we broadcast must read something like this to other countries "yeah okay, I heard Friends is playing back to back Tuesdays on TBS." To make matters worse no one in Pakistan is really that familiar with Friends! So i suggest two things. One course of action involves realizing that these people that die/live/eat things are HUMAN. The other involves giving the wit of Chandler to the world. Which one is your money on?
Welllllll I guess that's about all for me. When hungover it's difficult to sustain any really thoughts, so I've left you with all these fake ones. Enjoy, they're reheatable.

I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon.

Do you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

2006-02-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Hey team,
Sorry its been so long since I've posted. Although seeing as how its my blog I guess I really don't have all that much to be sorry for, but I'm weak willed and I care about you so I'm sorry. Take it or leave it.
The main reason for the delay in-between posts hasn't been for lack of interesting happenings over here and Andrewonia, rather quite the opposite. Lightening,it would seems, has been hitting paydirt lately as far as I'm concerned. So I guess this post is dedicated to lightning's recent increased accuracy. Way to go lightening! Feel free to respond with any of the good things you've done, readers, and perhaps we can start a "shout out" post. Of course lightening will take precedent over whatever crap you've done, but if I were you I wouldn't complain much about lightening. It's a fickle hellcat. (note:lightening is interpreted to mean my luck with women, thus, we are assuming today IS opposite day).
The main reason for my extended absence is that it has been a real tribulation time academically. Leaving me little to no time to post, probably someone with a better grip on thier time skill could have squeezed it in, but since chaos seems to be the cup I usually drink from I would rather not spit the wine back now. It's been good for so long.
Today though,marks some well deserved R and R time for me. Which (Annie get your gun) means MORE POSTS! Which is what the public wants so its what I'll give 'em. I'm a Libra.
The sincere lack of pressure after being in the proverbial "cooker," for the last two weeks has been somewhat odd, a sensation I was not anticipating. I would liken it, at least from where I'm sitting, to carrying something heavy on your back for a long time and then, once its removed, knowing that you COULD be doing so much more, and, somewhere in the annals of you brain, longing for the weight again. Because it was so hard, so excoriating, it gave you purpose. Not unlike Moriarty after he looses Sherlock, after a while the struggle defines you, and without it you can't help but feel a little empty, but I guess that's why God invented the "Wonder Years."
Here I am then, feeling a little lost with my new recreation time, and although I know it to be ridiculously transient I'm glad it's eating dinner at my house tonight even if it is just one night. It's the one night stands with happiness that I love the best. The thrill of finding something and the agony of losing it stand as the ying and yang in the human experience and I believe I love them the same. Some might call that masochistic, but I call it enjoying the popsicle and then after its gone, enjoying the sensation of knowing I ate a popsicle.
I hope all is good with you as I draw to a close,and I truly hope that you enjoy your next meal. Because it might be your last, 'cuz I'm creepin on you muthafuckka. Watch your back.

Be real.

Minor or Major, just do yourself a favor...

2006-01-25T20:51:00.000-08:00

Busta,
What it is right now? For me lately it hasn't seemed like all that much, just stammering through the usual milieu. For some I guess that's exhilarating and as much as I try to philo-size it somehow I just can't (some days) get revved up over the mundane. Although, I am willing to accept the fact that Chris Mullin no longer plays NBA basketball, so perhaps I'm closer to Nirvana than I give myself credit for.
These last couple of days, as I indicated previously have held little ground breaking. Not knowing whether to point to my sincere drive for success and self-relevance, or my sincere lack in both those categories as the reason for my most recent bouts with the banal I find myself just reading and watching more Hangin with Mr Cooper. Some would call that heaven, but I strive for more than that. Mine is a quest for relevancy and have no doubt that it's an uphill battle. I believe it was either Jesus or John Lennon who so succinctly summed it up "There is nothing you can do that can't be done, come with me and I'll make you a fisher of men."

Today as luck would have it, kicks off what promises to be an interesting first round of tests for myself for the winter term. I only mention things as inane and irrelevant to you the reader, in the case that they either have significant anecdotal potential or they illuminate what I deem as some larger broader point, but in this case I'm just saying it. I mention these tests really because it is burning on my brain, and after all I reckon that's what this blog's mission statement is, to be all things Andrew. So really I would be doing a disservice to you and the site if I were to mask my true sentiments and feelings from the general public. (Don't worry, fetishes and hygiene aren't until Blog: Volume 2, your still safe).
Only the seasoned blogger can avoid mentioning the occasional self-absorbed topic and I,alas, are not one of them. We are Robert Palmer.
On a lighter note, although these past few days have been somewhat stuck on reruns of Andrew's Greatest Dull moments, there is something to be said for the liberation that comes with that. Not unlike Ground Hog Day, I'm getting to be so comfortable and absorbed into my routine that I can, without a moments hesitation, do things that others in some "real," social situations cannot. Don't know what I mean? Well, really neither do I, but for the most part they involve social profiling and recording responses and behavior associated with the demographics. I guess that's pretty implicit now, as I recently read a collegehumor.com post dedicated to sectioning off the various college students(frat boys etc. etc). However, their statements could be blindly done without ever visiting a college campus. Those have been stereotypes that harken back to Otter and his Delta cohorts (Senator Bluetarsky).
Modernity though, has posed us with several new categories, these members exist as subsets in larger groups, making them infinitely more complicated and interesting as they have to exist by double and even triple standards. Indulge me if I may. To begin with we have indieus normalus. In laymans term, middle-class hipster. These men and women are quite dangerous as they are armed with acidic diatribe about Marcus Garvey and perhaps they even own a Plasmatics ticket stub, but it all seems a little senseless over the alligator shirt they must have pre-wrinkled the evening before. Admittedly its difficult to be an agitator and still fit most societal norms within the fashion world so I'm not berating them. Somehow it got chic to be able to spit political firebranded statements coupled with music that probably meant something to someone else. These are are strange and wonderful creatures. What makes them interesting (although I'm sure you already know this being the 2+2=4er that you are) is the multiple sets of standards they must pass themselves through. It's difficult being indie enough to not get questioned when you buy a Smiths album but still have some semblance of conformity in order that women drunk on Natural Light might not think you too weird to go home with. A paradox indeed.
DISCLAIMER: THE AUTHOR OWNS A BRAIN SETZER ORCHESTRA CD WHICH HE PAID FULL PURCHASE PRICE FOR. WHILE WEARING THOSE LITTLE ROUND PINS OF ECLECTIC SOCIAL IMPORTANCE ON HIS BOOKBAG.

Well, I guess that's it for me. Although I know your hanging on every word, I've got to go. These posts seem to get more and more stream of consciousness as I progress. I attribute it both to no longer nit-picking over what I broadcast/expose on the internet and mescaline. Either way, this post is closing up shop. Buy your e-beer elsewhere, this bar's a shuttin' down.

Be real.

Discounting the haymaker is always a mis-step.

2006-01-22T23:16:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
Wow, a whole weekend since I've rapped at you. Oh how I've longed for the clicky friendship of this keyboard. It's a nice and forgiving companion. There is something that happens between a man and his computer. Not unlike the relationship men develop (or so I'm told) with thier cars I would suspect. You live in them, you reveal yourself to them. They assist you in many tasks that alone you could not complete. My computer has born witness to some of my lowest acts of depravity. Moments where the term "scrapping the bottom of the barrel," would be a far higher praise than it deserves. And so it is. Me and the computer tied together again in the wee hours of the morning trying to figure out which one should go to bed first. Usually the keyboard wins in that contest. If you've read any of my provious posts than you know the wit and coherence of the writing tapers off somewhere after "Hello," leaving me in a silent word driven spiral inevitably looking down the barrel of a cocked and loaded blog-post trying unleash itself on an unspecified and indifferent audience. Touche, keyboard, touche.
Tonights post though is not all about inanimate objects from which I draw my strength and personal narratives, not by a long shot (because frankly the passion that I have for my " Here today, Enema tomorrow:THE HOME KIT," would elicit a passage so long that I would lose the three of you reading this, and I have to give my audience what it wants). Tangent non-withstanding this post is not dedicated to things that can't talk back, but rather to those that can. Say something and marvel in it after all communicational capacity is a blessing not sprinkled on all our cupcakes. Bad jokes about the bevy of politicos who have been inhibited conversationally put aside, communicating is difficult at least for me. That helps keep it fresh and potent. Language is the new Cranberry Juice.
Which is why I dig on living so much. I suppose there's something to be learned from everything that can possibly acknowledge your presence reacting to you. From a looping, uber-verbose rambling blog, to the spit of a child carried on a miscreant wind, everything gives something.

Today has been filled, jam-packed and stuffed to the gills with goings on the likes of which have to led to the crumbling of empires and estates larger and more fantastic than mine. However, no matter what the external pressure, this Dynasty isn't going anywhere. I mean who brought death to the houses of 89 lords, me. Who personally oversaw the systematic arson of thousands of villages who dare stand in opposition, me. Who, when faced with a multitude humanitarian issues, opted to "just have another pop-tart, they'll figure it out," that's me again, me all over. So surely, I'm not going to let something as bee-stingish as required school work break me. Of course not.
As I can see the clock in my task bar trying ever so hard to pull itself up to the watershed moment that is three am, I find myself strangely wishing it was. There is something exotic about being up this late, something abstruse. It's almost as if being awake at this hour is an activity in and of itself. Simply being awake qualifies you as partaking in an anecdote and there's something about that which sits very well with me. Although there are downsides. Namely that you can't remember what you were thinking/writing about six seconds ago, but I rarely let that stop me from doing anything anyway. I've had mixed results.
Sleep seems to be a dish that is best when served warm, so I,tragically must end this post in order I might still catch my bed retaining some of the heat generated from the sun and heat before night fell in my room with its icy fingers methodically creeping up my pillow, I can see them now, and believe those are not good hands. Not like the ones that give these words to you. Supple and soft, conduits of communication. Although,I also scratch things with them.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

You'll come up some, but for right now, lets just get down.

2006-01-17T18:59:00.000-08:00

G'day,
Yo baby will you ride with me?
Yo baby will you die for me?
Yo baby, will you ride or die or ride or die?
-Those are the lyrics that have been swimming around in my head all the damn day. I only mention them as jumping off point, but really you must have pity on my generation. We were so inundated with that crap. I'm still dealing with the residuals of my complacent music consummation as a youth. I've allowed the likes of Lil' Jon, David Banner, The Ying Yang Twins (how could you mess up such a good name) to populate the airwaves by blindly conditioning myself to like a genre which has so little energy left in it at its main stream level. Although truth be told, I, like the Ying Yang twins, make girls flip when they see my dick.
Often though, in this debate the following argument arises and with a large degree of validity. The parallel that exists with bad hip hop is the same as with any genre of art it seems, one must dig around to find something of value. Surely, by turning on "Power 105," or any equivalent hit station, an individual can't expect to flipped on to some next level shit. Excluding Nickleback that is, whom is on aforementioned next level shit. Similarly, once hip hop found its niche (something that it is still struggling to fully do by the by) that is define itself, it has stayed there. Not unlike pop rock or rock, both of which stick concretely within the confines of the big three topics and riffs catering to an audience of willing consumers whom seem to be indifferent to good art(Note: agreed, bad can be really really good sometimes). The same constant goes in any art vein. One cannot judge the sole standing of the current artistic realm by taking the kitsch on a tide commercial and making grandiose statements about the artistic realm. Art can be formulaic when tempered with men whom make money from these endeavors. Thus, I place the blame squarely on consumers for dictating the path and allocation of consumer dollars and not demanding something better. I blame me.
This is not to give the hip hop industry, nor any artistic expression, a free pass to produce shlock. Not in the least. Focus on my last several statements, good art exists out there and we are here to consume it, but they must fight the good fight. Great art is rarely marketable on mass scales, therefore inhibiting it's ability to go mainstream. Hip hop did at one point come from some place real, however that has now been tainted with profit making. Let's get back there. That's what made me love it. I would like to love again.
Really though, who doesn't like to get a little Headsprung?

That being said, today, for what its worth has been quite good for me, as I hope it was for you. I post this update happier to be posting than I have in quite some time. I earned this leisure time today, and I think, there is no sweater R and R than the one languished for.
The sun never did shine today but it didn't have to for this cowboy, not today. I was indoors all day, questioning the very reason I attend class while attending school. Nice how paradoxes often work out.
Well, it seems as if, excluding excruciating and non-relevant details of my day, I've run out of things to comment on. Save for the explosive nature of the current national political scenes. Combustible at best. GO OREGON! I end with a quote from a Canadian Presidential advertisement currently running on the televisions of our neighbors in the Great White North. " A vote for my opponent puts a smile on George W. Bush's face."
Be real.

Academik

2006-01-15T16:11:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
Some days the worlds, events and movements flow like water across the slimy membranes of earth. Other days are slow and painful, making you aware of every last excruciating second of its passing. Then somewhere past that there is laundry day. I swear to you, as I have very few other e-witness', I can't seem to ever pull myself together enough to negotiate the very menial task of completing my laundry. This is to me indicative of volumes. Perhaps, you might think that is just another lethargic move from a man whom has often been referred to as a continuing series of lethargic moves, but I think its more than that, give me a chance.
First, everyone does it. That in and of itself should be sufficiently liberating. Which makes my hesitance to do the laundry very isolating. I know that I could very well me one of the few people on the planet with this kind of disdain for laundry day. The tower of dirty clothes, which have in a true Darwinist manner, evolved into a very distinct area in the left-ern part of my room. Making a pretty significant statement.
Second, it should be cathertic. It is a simple task to finish, something that everyone has reasonable success with. Although, I would be the first to admit that its kind of scary to dowith which you have little expierence and everyone else seems to do quite well, however I shouldn't let that bother me.
Third, and mainly,it is this. I believe it truly separates me from being a functional adult. There is no greater barometer of independence than the ability to clothe oneself. It is that very low hurdle that I am constantly not getting over. I Jesse Owens this shit though, I will enjoy it, I will become small tasks. I am Rosy.
My day has been somewhat fractured. For several reasons, not the least of which was my over-indulgence last night. Although it was prompted to a large degree by my roommates father gracing us, that is no excuse for allowing oneself to slip to the place that I was crouching in. I would share the specifics of my actual depravity, but there not as important as what I "should," take away form this experience and that is to become more and more like Macho Man Randy Savage. Really, I should just grow up and get a muscle-shirt.
I suppose that's it for me, the usual grade and speed at which I write have been greatly tempered by my brain functions (or lack thereof) and I guess it's time to draw the trainwreck to a close. But real trainwrecks are never this tidy there must be something that no one wanted to see but everyone had to look at. Although I don't know what that is, I hope that you go out and find it tonight. I hope that you find yourself well outside your own comfort zone and reveling it. So tomorrow I hope to see you with the tan that can only be acquired from over-exposure to neon lights. Be real.

A link

2006-01-13T10:18:00.000-08:00

Y'all,
Bit of jelly for that apple bottom.
http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=5385434

Don't Stop 'till you get enough, or pass the muthafucking pie.

2006-01-12T17:25:00.000-08:00

To whom it may concern,
A pleasant warm January evening hello to you all. I don't recall it being this pleasant out for quite some time, which, makes me, like every decent human being on the planet, want to go directly to a computer and spout. Welcome to my Text diorama, your my shoebox. In you defense though, they were really expenseive shoes.
How was your day? Hopefully it was well spent enjoying the weather. My sincere hope is that you combined something that you like with this weather. Synthesized it to make it something that you love. I for instance, took my pornography for outdoor viewing. That is liberating. Taking your perversions for a walk.
My day, outside of the mobile porno, was composed of small matters and trivialities that seems to make up everyday lately. I've made some haphazard grasp at the vapors of larger things, but all that seems to come out lately are campaign speeches and allusions to cancelled USA television shows, which isn't exactly what I'd call aggressive life pursuant inner dialogue, but I guess we all have to cope with out little crosses to bare.
This post, reader, is quite unique actually, counter to the above trends. You see, as I sit here clicking and clacking on what might be the worlds most comfortable chair, I do it bathed in a new baptismal light. One that washes you clean. Until you watch porn outside that is. I have completed the heralded Athens bar shuffle. I know, its quite difficult to see the world when your eyes are sagging from cheap booze and you smell of smoked cigarettes. Lay the fuck off then, always on my shit aren't you reader? That happens to be one of the blissful places that I frequent. A water hole has many characteristic that I think have been drilled out of society via modernity. The pursuit of a fit mate, satisfying some of the most intrinsic animal urges, all of these things as far as I'm know, make it a largely self-enlightening endeavor. However, that being said, speaking only for myself here, a lot of times it's difficult to read the Hemingway because of the words. To be more precise, I believe that far too often I can get wrapped up in those urges, (because lets face it, I'm a man of passion) letting too much slip right through my fingers unregistered, unexpressed. Which always makes my hangovers that much more intense. That there I was, feasting on existence, and I missed it because all I could do was keep having meade. Due in large part to my own weakness. Catch 22. Andrew Simmons, it would seem, is Andrew Simmons' worst enemy. Much to my own surprise. I thought it was the USA network.
That isn't to say that last night wasn't fun. IT is not to say that, whoa no. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I believe it was my friend Austin whom had the most illuminating quote and If I remember it went something like this...
" Andrew,really, Why do we ever do anything else?"
Unaware to the brilliance of this question, (note: not because he was unaware of the depth of the question but moreso because he was suffering from a quite pervasive bout of pass-outs) he wandered off, leaving me to sit in the quandary that he left wrapped under my half drunk boozemas tree. The answer of course is all to easy, without work there is no need to play, if play were the norm it would become "work," on a long enough time scale perhaps. Although, I'd like to believe that if there was no economic advantage in working or schooling and every endeavors drive was sole passion, that there would be a lot more carpenters.
That I guess is the conclusion if tonight's post. It was a fun trip, somewhat forced, but I guess that's a pretty accurate snapshot of where I am. Let's take a look at your inward pictures, I bet you water down your whiskey too. So don't ask me to pour it more stiffly.
May the wind always be at you back. I wish you all a small skill, which might seem minute but if it was within my power to bestow it I would, only because,as we all know, it is the threads that weave the blankets. I wish you the ability, to say something that means something. Pierce an issue. Be a consumer. Fuck USA today.

2006-01-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

Despite the platitude, most people probably can't dance.

2006-01-09T16:10:00.001-08:00

Hey there,
It's been my experience that thus far, although I try and keep my posts to an arbitrary friendly letter format (because that IS what we are after all, a format I mean) it seems when I upload a picture it has the unpleasant consequence of dislodging whatever construct I had used unto that point and replacing it with, what could at best be called, complete and total text chaos. So, again my sincerest apologies, but I am as new to this as I suppose they come, although I do see the irony of me becoming more experienced with every keystroke I make. Luckily my razor wit caught such irony before you, viciously, used it against me.
However, despite these minor typographic setbacks, I still have been able to eek out an existence in the harsh throws of this all too quaint town quite well as of late. Although I did express a certain amount of concern about my STRONG desire to forgo this quarter completely in favor of shaving my head, fathering children, joining the marines, becoming a major and getting my own sitcom, however it has recently come to my attention (thank you USA) that Major Dad has already been a long standing sitcom in syndication allowing me to focus more completely on my studies. Something that I, and my mother, could not be more thankful for.
This does not mean that all my classes are light as a gum drop, I guess it might be more accurate to say that instead of dreading attending class I am back to where I usually am. Which is a quite sincere indifference smelted with a streak of pithiness. I know what your thinking, with those characteristics I would be the perfect guy for Major Dad, and believe me I agree with you, but sometimes you just have to let dreams die.
It's been quite a busy time in the news hasn't it? As I alluded to in an earlier post, I challenge anyone to think of a more exciting time to be a global citizen. With the general world populous becoming progressively more aware of the unsustainable nature of the current fossil fuel quagmire. With rapid burgeoning middle classes in countries that have never felt the joy of simply buying skittles when they so choose. With technology growing at such a rapid rate, that it is simply being devolved on the off hope it might be a potential "winner," on wall street? It simply is a revolutionary time. I must build one dam in this waterflow of progress, and I think it is one that many people much more qualified than I, have been levying in on (sorry for all the irrigation references). Namely, is the pace of world growth sustainable? The South Korean market grew by circa 65% in fiscal year 2005, with similar growth all across the third world, something that gives some of us the willies. I think a perfect reflective anecdote might well be the recent Japanese wrong ticker trade incident that I mentioned in an earlier post. With the Pacific Rim economy growing at such clip, investors have almost no choice but to "get in it," as it were. This does not negate the fact though, that many feel as if it could easily become a house of cards (that distinct possibility I'm sure many would argue is lessoning by the day) and with one large firm entering one wrong trade (a simple incorrect numeric entry, which by all American standards would never have happened, given the brokerage software used here) everyone pulled out, literally plunging their fiscal world into complete disarray. I think the more acute question is of course, is this a symptom of a larger instability, or merely the fits and starts of an economy growing its way into stability and economic prosperity? I don't know which camp I belong to, but I will say that I guess by merely entertaining the position that it (rapid growth) could be a facade, I might be not admitting to myself that I align closer with one philosophy than the other. Which pains me a great deal, for a long time (a lifetime in fact) I have let me conscience, for the most part, be the North Star for my economic tradewinds. I have always felt that good and morally responsible action (re: Fair trade vs. Free, NAFTA, Kathy Lee, etc. etc.) almost always can intersect with good fiscal policies. I wouldn't go as far to say as I am from the Kucinich school of electricity dealings, but nonetheless I was a bit of an ethicist.
It would seem to be then I would be unequivocally rooting for the expansion of this middle class that some are predicting. How can it not higher the standard of living and average wage per worker in places like Sri Lanka? I am only worried about two things, and I believe them to be both in the best interest of the "keep on truckin," Sri Lankan's. First, I have always thought that, on a macro scale, time would eventually be the greatest equalizer. That is not to say that I was against movements of humanitarians and philanthropies. Or that I was some kind of crazy isolations. Not so, in fact,what I was in favor for, was the long arduous journey that unleashed OUR economy. America, and other industrialized countries, although being around for a shorter period of time than some other countries, happen to employ, what I would call, a successful "me-first," driven economy. I believed that it was our responsibility as a developed people to make sure that no governments stood in the way of this occurring in other countries, (i.e. dictators, slave-drivers, war-mongers, etc. etc.) and made enviroments conducive to growth, mainly because I believed that although some-what self-absorbed it was a peaceable economy, when done ethically. I think/thought that long term sustainable growth must come from supply AND and demand side driven economies, a situation that can only be devolped from a populous who has accumulated general liquid wealth and with it has created an economy that supports them and thier loved ones (re:thier kids) to participate in this ecomony (re: spend money) with confidence. Not thinking that the rug can be pulled out from under them at any time.
And while their are some very real contributing factors to the tear that the world markets have been seeing, I believe it, to a large degree, has been directly related to Americans, and the civilzied world, dropping the moral ball. Yes, it is the responsibility of a corporate entity to look after its bottom line, so to employ third world labor, in both blue and white collar sectors, is semi-permissible. But at the expense of the American employee? The American employee has priced themselves out, pushed for too much, health care, retirement, the list goes on. Not even to mentioned the irresponsibility of credit that the baby boom generation has launched us into. But in regards to another macro model, I believe it would be safe to assume that when the world economy grows it might, roughly, resemble, in vague ways,the way that ours devolped. That is to say more precisely, that eventually, ALL workers, will be demanding things like health-care etc. Then with everyone demanding it, profits can increase from increases in price points and people and corporations make more money, with everyone now a viable global consumer. And so on. The artificial inflating of the third world economies, allows for none of the confidence and infrastructure to be set up, thus making it more potentially combustible.
However, at the same time, perhaps rapid expansion is the only method, and it will eventually lead to everyone in China not living in squalor, but that remains to be seen.
Well, I guess that's it for me. It's been fun as usual. In regards to advice for the next couple of days, my first thought would be you should probably get your advice from a more reputable source, but if you do listen to me, I have the following words of wisdom. Get a secretary of the opposite sex, even if you have very little to do, there must be someone whom you can pay enough just to file your papers, I mean that takes like five seconds. The power trip is unreal, or maybe that's just the coffee I've been making Susan make me, her name is Jen, but she's my secretary so I can pretty much call her whatever I want. I suggest getting your own Susan or Derek.
Be real.

Sorry

2006-01-06T16:44:00.000-08:00

Due to time constraints placed on me by Sir Austin Conan Doyle, there was no room for editing on the previous post. My deepest regrets. Also I would like to point out that I did violate certain infallible laws of logics in my time rant (slippery slope, etc.) However, would you accuse Alan Alda of philandering? I didn't think so. So at least treat me with the same respect as Hawkeye,jesus.

When there's no more room in hell.

2006-01-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
Time, time, time. That's all the ever is, doesn't it seem? Everything exists and lives and dies and waters the plants according to time. Although, throughout the ages many of the greatest minds of the times have weighed in, the artificial construct. I thought that seeing as how I heard Dr. Phil speak of it today in the Metro, that now might be a good time to set the record straight. At least for, because after all, this is my post. (ed note.- the sole owner of this blog and all intellectual property is Microsoft)
Time, as near as I can tell, is to large degree intricately woven into the fabric of life. However, this does not meant hat it current manifestation is thus inherently correct. I mean, time, like all other necessary dimensia can be perverted and to some some degree perhaps it has. The allegory here would be sexual perversion I think. Humanity ( as well as dolphins I'm told, but usually conjecture emanating from locker rooms is pretty unsubstantiated) enjoy the physical act of Coates. There is something I guess to be said for that alone. But more to the point, sex, or more accurately reciprocity is absolutely implicit in our survival on this harsh ball of gas. Interestingly enough though, because it is something that we enjoy it has been morphed, perverted, and had leather strapped to, to meet the needs of an ever more demanding society.
Andrew, you might say, are you trying to say that time, the very fabric of everything that we hold dear, the reason why I'm able to keep track of Oprah's birthday, is on the same playing field with something as carnal as sex? Why yes I am, and that's a very astute question reader. I guess what I'm trying to say is that time, as we know it, is a subjective a thing, as something that is "inherent," in a "reality," can possibly be. Even if the nature of the universe is, just for iota, debatable in any sense, then how can one deny that something in it might be bendable?
AHA! You might say. What IM driving at is that I believe time to have fallen the way of foot fetishes and nuke the whale posters. It keeps itself vital because it is an outgrowth of us, and therefore is malleable.
What then? Yes, we might know that time as a construct, might be tweakable, what the hell does that matter. I guess not much, would be my response. The only thing that I like about it as it empowers me, or as it might apply you to, it empowers the individual. It defeats, the mighty giant, it allows you to become the master of your domain once more. It's time the works for you, not you for it baby.
Overall, my day has been somewhat of a recuperation one. Its my supposition that there are no more unique days than when your dealing with one of the rather obtrusive alarms of a five alarm hangover. It whittles you down until you are basically just a shell of yourself, or a tiny ship in some cases. But either way, I've never been in a mode looking for the path of least resistance as much as on these days. So reader, sharp on a sweater on a cold day, avoid hangovers, try and break a clock, then, as always, hustle. Be real. Yours truly.

What about jay and Bob? I mean those guys were alright...

2006-01-02T18:34:00.000-08:00

It just simply is,
Why Hello there, my what a long, long time its been. Posting after a slight lay off. How engaging. In a figurative sense. Or something.
As far as I'm concerned I've pretty much shut down all brain functionality for the time being, in respect to New Years ( my sincerest hope that you had a good one) I am still, as of now, feeling the effects. For those of you whom are not up to date on A the A exploits, let me say merely this. We took Yellow Jackets, the "diet supplement," that augments your diet from "some food ingested," to "probably never going to sleep again and sipping on water." Which, as I can now attest to, is a pretty abrupt transition to say the least. I can only liken it to thinking that your about to watch a really funny film but instead having to sit through the entire hellfest that was/is the Mr. Bean movie. (My condolences automatically go out to anyone who knows that rings as true as I do).
The no sleep thing, will, as opposed to what I thought it might be like, truly, truly messes with you. My synapses are slower (which now puts them now at somewhere between Moose's and Jughead's speed) so now I'm Andrew sans his senses. Which, come to find out, is a slightly different person. Although I believe there is probably a very significant amount of you out there that might be frightened by an out of body experience, I am here to tell you that it isn't all bad. Par ejemplo, although you might think that you are generally a happy person, try being completely bereft of thought. I mean completely. ARE you there yet? I don't think you are, because I am and I haven't quit grinning since. Once you truly can't think straight,it leading to truly not thinking. Then not a bad thought runs across that gray matter. Let me cut the chase, Yellow Jackets are the new Nirvana.
(ed note.- Andrew has decided to NEVER EVER EVE EVER ingest Yellow Jacket diet supplements again.)
However, there was an upside, which was namely that we (Aaron and I) were able to hang in there until we heard the indifferent cacaw of the invisible rooster. And while this fictional barnyard occurrence might drive some men to bed, it merely pushed us to the car. Where,after very little debate, we were on our way to breakfast.
Post-eating there was some crashing, but for the better part of three days my sleep schedule has been so messed up that I really have been only here in body. Which is why I decided it was a good time to post.
Back at school, this must be the ultimate medicine. Although I'm excited to be here, I don't truly believe that I could be any less looking forward to the commencement of classes. That being said though, I don't believe there to be a better way to kick start the old melon so maybe it isn't all badd.
Brevity, I suppose is the key, and with that I believe I'll sign out. Because really, in conclusion, I don't think its right to post when whacked out of your skull, but it worked out so well for Jesus that I had to try it. Hope it was worth it. Be real.

And no one can talk to a horse of course..

2005-12-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

Hey there Sports Fans,
Merry Post-Christmas, this is just Andrew rappin at you through the specific lenses that always seem to get nice and polished up at roughly this time each year. For me it allows these old blue eyes to see things in different lights entirely than the rest of these 12 months. Non-impact holiday emotional side-lights aside, this round of general holidaying has allowed me to mull over the things inherently non-sensical.
It would seem as if life would grow less connected not more. From a logical standpoint I always reasoned that the older I got the less and less dependent I would be for support from other human beings. Perhaps dependent isn't the right word, something more accurate might be, looking forward. After all, with age, I've heard, comes self-reliance, meta-physical understanding, harmony and self-fulfillment, at least that what the adults on the Mentos commercials seem to espouse. However, it has been my limited bout with aging that has allowed me to see the vast inter-connected life flow that I guess runs innately through these high-ways and by-ways of our lives. If actions themselves stand independent of label,which I believe to be a truism, then therefore it is we who must assign them value. Therefore, at least a little bit, to the best of my reasoning, life is somewhat perspective oriented. Where am I going with this? I'll tell you, life as it exists is primarily a cerebral experience then. It seems like that although, the seeing and physically experiencing of an event is important in respect to shared human experience, its that mental registering and consequent filing that enables us to sort through the milieu of everyday existence. I think its that bond that links us to others. If not for the soul reason of just seeing what life is like outside our own heads. I know that is of infinite interest to me. It might be the soul driving force behind most of my interactions. Left to my own devices, I can be dull at least, but once inspired even the must insipid, non-talented (which by definition includes myself) can be lead to great things through friendship and shared experiences. Therefore, I suppose its vital that family, who play an important role in the early stages of "outer-life exams," be kept in the loop. Otherwise there is no barometer to hold other social relation to, which ipso facto I believe, can kind of devalue the life experience, but I always have had a passion for bravado.
The rant portion of my post being satisfied, these last couple days for me (you as well probably) have been, at best, jam packed with activity, and at worst, had every shred of free time ripped violently from my cracked and bleeding hands and being placed on the altar to satisfy my mother. Whom, with very little effort, can at will subject any person to the most intense guilt tolerable without crying. A talent that I, both in the past and this trip, am a veteran of. Thus, although pleasurable for the most part, in retrospect, I guess I probably placed too much of an emphasis on being home, as opposed to being mentally home and allowing myself to be accessible. Note for next year I guess.
Before you label my mother diatribe (or worse me) as exaggerated, know this. My dog no longer uses the restroom within five feet of the backdoor solely because my mother looks at her and the dog knows she is letting her down. Respect.
Other than that though, Im just plum exhausted, which feels quite the same way no matter what season, be it holiday or otherwise, it happens to be. My apologies for the lack of levity in the post. But the difference with me is, I just don't give a fuck.

To be young is to be high,

2005-12-22T08:57:00.000-08:00

I left my wallet in El Segundo,
6:30 AM is earlier in anyone's book. Really, I think its hard to make a case against that. I'm sure your a boy/girl scout and everything, but I truly have trouble getting up that early. To exacerbate matters Im not quite sure how to combat it, surely the answer isn't a nap ( for two reasons, one I really don't like sleeping that much in general and secondly because I actively try and avoid all activities that exactly mimic my grandfather, except watching Dallas, which is legit and you know it) so I'm really exhausting my options fairly steadily. Of course there exist artificial things to help kick of your mornings, this is list includes but isn't limited to coffee,tea,ice cold drink,ice down your shorts, being screamed at, having (and here "have," is defined as the threat of stoning to death as a recourse to a non-action) being in a physically threatening situation, or in the most extreme situations waking up next to Justin Maloney (I've been there and it ain't pretty, usually your covered with chewing tobacco spit). However, I am not without hope, fear not pantheon of readers, Andrew will prevail. If there is one thing that Im quite certain of in this life, it is that to a large extent I can master my own body. Which gives me a (truly, really, huge, false) sense of security. In minutiae cases especially, this is perfect. It's potentially really self-rewarding and there's a high probability that I could best it using my most effective self-repair tool, the ubiquitous placebo-effect.
Onward and upward though, my day has been kind of drag in so much as I've over-complicated the market. Earlier I my stint, I found myself trading on a pure almagamation of instinct and Charts. However, the deeper I grow and seed myself the more I learn to obstificate matters at hand. For instance today a stock, which will remain nameless so you can't look it up and see my folly (JMAR) presented me with a perfect entry position for a short. It had successfully broken out of a little uptrend, an ascending wedge no less, then was poised to fall out of bed. However, instead of decreasing my entry position and entering the low position buy stop, I tried to read the Mac-D and so on and lost my opportunity, talking myself out of a cool 15% decrease. But who's counting?
Warmer climes in winter can be refreshing don't you agree? Inspiring almost, its one of the few times that a large non-ominous natural swing can induce people to think. It invokes the "don't know what you've got till its gone," philosophy, which is fun to observe, for me and you, in elevators and dentists offices across the country. Notice the aforementioned bounce in the collective societal step. Notice the self-absorbed house mother who gets to look at somekind of horizon for even the briefest second. Notice the educator who thinks perhaps he should go light on homework tonight, after all he remembers college. Notice the student, who instead of watching TV, can for on afternoon, toss a Frisbee or something else "they," do. Notice the lame blogger who uses weather as a vehicle to make himself feel good about trite sociological goings on.
Well do something then, go out and stop reading blogs, I know that I'm not. I've got six more hours of work to do. However, it will make you happy to know that upstairs no one will be home. I'll be there with you looking through your eyes, so do something cool, or look at yourself or someone else naked (female hopefully, although at this point I'm not picky), I'd appreciate that too. Be real.

When you look through the bottom of an empty glass...

2005-12-20T17:30:00.001-08:00

Hey there Bulls Fans,
Are you aware that with the convergence of two former Bulls center as the "center," pieces to the Bulls sideline coverage,it officially makes the bulls the tallest commentary combo in the history of the NBA, which is not a light chip on my shoulder, often it hurts to carry.
The market, the market, the market is not on fire. We don't need no natural gas, cuz tha muthafuckaz going to triple in price and be the omnipresent brakes on the economy the FED has been trying to manufacture via these artificial interest rate hikes.
In a related market note, I would like to highlight the closing/striking of the New York Transit workers bringing the world to a screeching halt (or at least a mild pause). The debate,as you all probably realize, is manifest of a larger debate that is about to uncomfortably undress (you mighy be next!) people across this country, is that namely companies can no longer stay competitive( especially at a blue collar level) to offer benefit and retirement packages in a global market. GM, for instance, today dipped below 20 dollars, unheard of and admittedly largely reversible, but still was induced to a large degree by their over-commitment to their employee (granted a case could be made for their lack of restructuring, aggressive advertising campaign, failure to manage the rising gas prices and over-paying board members, but that is neither here nor there). The American employer can no longer grant the kind of work based coverage that has oiled the health wheels of this country for so long. Which of course begs the question of the next move. While I don't have the answer I do have postulates, but one thing that I will say is, as a whole, the American (consumer,leech,children,parents) needs to be more fiscally disciplined, plain and simple. To be blunt, that could of course have negative short term effects on the countries economy, but to live on credit is simply building the economy like a house of cards, hollow and easily blown down.
My day though, hasn't been largely constructive, but mildly enjoyable none-the-less. With a mild mid-snack,I find myself now under the persuasion of casual eaters at the noon hour. Something that unto this point has been a completely foreign concept to me ( over-looking the lewd jokes on eating), but now has become the bounce in my steps in the afternoon. And after all isn't that the goal. If its string theory or Hinduism, one common denominator is the bounce in your step.Don't you agre? Follow me here...
-Invention of fire (once stepped on fire induced the FIRST bounce in your step)
-Seperation of Pangea (A bounce was needed to continent jump)
-Magna Carta (just a feel good document, many bounces)
-Russian Revolution ( if Czar Nick had just a bit more bounce to his step...)
-WWII ( What if Truman hadn't had a bounce to his step? What then huh?)
-Watergate ( Little known fact, after the I am not a crook speech, all the democrats collectively had a bounce in their step)
-Al gore ('nuff said)
That however, is the kind of thing they leave out of the history books. Frailty, thy name is bounce.
Well, this is me signing out, and remember if it had been up to me, I would have named you Kingsley.

2005-12-19T11:27:00.000-08:00

Always buy the foam machine

2005-12-18T17:45:00.001-08:00

Hey there cutie,
Yes, I'm talking to you. I'm sure you deserve it, walking around looking like you do. Don't be embarrassed, look at you, everyone else is. Embrace it, those looks are what keeps the race propagating, without you we would have died of during the bubonic plague...
SO take pride in it, read the rest of the blog it's for you.....
What a Sunday today has been, I don't know about the three of you, but for me it has been nothing but introspection and pop culture consumption, many of you might write that off as a day wasted but for me,that's one for the record books.
There is always something to be said for taking it easy, hell the eagles don't just write about anything, you have to really mean something. Witchy Women you ask?...Case closed.

Plowing through darkness that looks a lot like snow,
Bits of brilliant dark light penetrating you so.
Cheers, jeers are thoughts much the same
A dream deferred, caught out in the rain.
Soft gentle prose with a stained cheap shirt
Hard rigid words,learned nothing, and wishing you hurt.
Simple pentameter, attempts to attain
something, that with luck, wont be washed away in that rain.
A fucked-up pick-up, covering the road,
flashes of headlights, bodies it seems to corrode.
Three day old snow, often feels old,
Transient nature,left out in the cold.

Or some shit, its therapeutic to write simple poetry/hip-hop lyrics. I have to admit that ive been going to bed earlier and earlier, I guess this holiday cheer is penetrating deeper and deeper, something that I usually enjoy. However, this year, unlike years past, I've let it blow by far to quickly. I suppose in order to truly savor something you have to keep it part of the cognizant mind, let it dance around in those lobes, kiss a wrinkle under the mistletoe, not let it be the background to something/everything else.
Some might smell a broader application to that philosophy, but not me, I'm not into philosophy, you cant handle my infinite nature.
So take it from me, savor it, suck it, live in it. Make sure and do something this evening that ensures you know it happened. There is no greater tragedy then when someone asks what you did last night, not being able to distinguish it from every other night.
What are my plans? A microwave dinner and watching Roadhouse, do as I say, not as I do.

Mase is now In G-unit?

2005-12-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

When the hell did that happen?

Mase, former Bad-boy, betha, Harlem World, who has 24 hours to live, when a the guy in the back of the club keeps looking at him just cuz his pants sag down to the flo, does what he does just like he doing it for TV, MASON BETHA? Is now G-UNIT?
When the hell did that happen? Over-looking the fact that he now is a hellfire Baptist minister, why in Gods name would he leave Bad Boy? I mean we welcomed him back, i even over looked the fact that his triumphant return sampled a song that wasn't that hott in the beginning. But he, like most of the men I've loved, left for me the bright lights of another star, not that I can blame them.
today's blog is without a doubt dedicated to those wiley rascals who hold up spots on street corners hoping to solicit a few dollars in sub-zero temperatures. Today marked the first time I even thought about "donating," (filling someone's pipe) to a homeless person. Not only do you have to respect someone selling obvious fake purses and sunglasses in sub-zero weather, but for my money (pun-intended), you must also applaud him. That must be the last rational thought in the human experience, selling sunglasses when its so cold I contemplated ripping parts of the sidewalk up to cover myself.
Market was tepid at best this morning and afternoon, however that's always the norm when Friday's are concerned, but its a nice relax point. You can always tell exactly when New York goes to lunch, which always seems to make me hungrier literally.
It's been my experience that Ameritrade has always been excellent at finding shares to short, albeit there are many other negatives (starting with the name) but today, they finally lost the last straw and probably me. There were several ways to squeeze some dough out of this morning and was kept from it by the behemoth that is my broker. Real.
The sweet smell of success award today goes to Tom Delay. Congrats. I don't believe that any one person has ever been more systemic of a larger problem than this one mouthpiece. I will say this though, with the complete conservative refusal to invest in alternative energy strategies, there will forever (defined as the next couple fo years) be a speculative consumer market for such, fueling potential intraday trades. Cyclical.
Later today is the building Christmas party, booze provided. I am interest in several things, namely if the doorman is going to be IDing kids or not, and if not the possible implications of that. Secondly, I'm stoked to actually see people who live here. For Christ sakes its like living with Eric Karros' career. Although I think a large part of that is probably the "get wherever the fuck your going," architecture of the front and back lobbies.
Well, I guess I'm out, My advice for the day, switch your recording company. Failing that, your the letter that your unti starts with. AAAAAAA-UNIT!!!

Ad Hawk

2005-12-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

NOTE: I am aware the screen is green, not white. When your composing its white, as you might imagine. CHECK IT OUT CHECK IT OUT CHECK IT OUT CHECK IT OUT...

2005-12-15T13:12:00.000-08:00

Lies (with jokes)

2005-12-15T12:13:00.001-08:00

Who wants to holla at some wata for a dolla?,

Hey, there. Sometimes it sure is nice to make your own impression on something white. It seems like lately the color white (masquerading as snow) has been forcefully entering my life. Not that I mind so much, however I guess I would like it to run it past me. Snow: " Hey Andrew, I was wondering, later if you weren't doing anything, maybe I could throw myself all over everything, cars and stuff you know." Me: " Ah, a man after my own heart, feel free snow, throw yourself haphazardly about." But, it made no so much request and as such, I'll take my small retaliation in sullying its baby brother, blogging screens.
Surely, today couldn't have been any more interesting, in a vague reference to my previous post, action, be it bad or good, sure is stimulating isn't it? This morning there wasn't much happening in the market so, like the disciplined trader that I am, I slowly begin trying to manufacture trades. Before you think to yourself, "Andrew, sure is quite the savvy financier and HUNG," let me be the first to debunk one of those myths, I sure should have laid off the things that I did. At first I missed the ride on SUF ( who coincidentally was up on two news items, one that they got the go ahead for testing on their new diabetes drug and secondly for their new sweetener for foods in the EU, a business strategy stolen straight form the " Heritage Foundation," manual for contradictions) and so, as I thought it might be in an ascending triangle pattern and ready to brake I pumped it, at what turned out to be, the worst possible position at 9.88, which turned out to be a bad tick, because at the time it was trading at 9.77! So, translation,I lost money before I even began. However, again being the well schooled trader that I am, I relied on my largest benefactor as of late, hope, and watched it steadily climb (with some REAL resistance at 10.00) to 10.09 (a cool profit, at least I can eat lunch, which cannot be over-rated) so I sell, but it takes Ameritrade an extra fucking century to match up bid and ask and I don't get out until the price is 9.75 (never sell at market when short intraday) and was thusly down. The rest of the day was mostly a%

For what it's worth

2005-12-12T17:16:00.000-08:00

Fellow Tookie Mourners,
Yo, happy holidays and to each a good Monday. This day, for me ( I guess blogging is inherently this narcissistic) has been one replete with trails and tribulations the likes of which haven't been seen by a person since Ringo made Caveman. Late on Sunday I found myself realizing that the market was ripe for the picking. Although lately its been making somewhat of a sideways stall, today( I guess with the potential fed meeting tomorrow, although I cant really discern why, the street almost knows its going to hike interest rates again) it seemed to break a little up. There, as always seems to be the case lately, were some real potential shorts. The stock (NMGC) that I shorted on Friday ( which closed at 50% less than when it gapped up thurs.) fell again today, which, again i cant really figure out, because simply, it was up on real news (earnings, good ones) and partly because i guess i wasn't in on it as well. Always money to be made, hookers to be had.
However, it seems like the more and more i delve into the realm of day-trading, the more bogs I subscribe to and the more financial knobs I polish, the more I lose touch with my humbler transcendentalism roots. My current hypothesis is that since my current situation deals exclusively with money and although I have to remain (sink or swim) abreast of the news to be profitable, the truism remains. The reason that I connect to the outside world is becoming less and less to feel integrated into a global blanket that keeps me and my future warm and robust. Nay, it is now more and more to line the pockets of me, the man, he who although is aware of the level three testing of CYPO's new laser to reduce wrinkles and POSSIBLY enlarge arteries or loosen plaque build-up in pulmonary areas, my first thought is no longer whom it will help and hoping it does, but rather, much more acutely, if I think it will be successful, if there are competitors, is the market over-populated, what is the TA and how are the fundamentals, is it a one ticker boom? What is its percentage outstanding debt to its current profit margin, etc. etc. The list is never ending, and I hope to make some in-roads allowing me to hold onto my humanity versus money.
Then again though, I don't often write without hyperbole and this is no exception. I, in the hinterlands of my minds, still allow for me to fancy myself some sort of intellectual romantic who hustles his way through everyday life, a maverick at heart. Today was no different. With the computer on the blink so I couldn't trade ( did I already mentions that's why I was inhibited?) I took what started out be a quick trip to the grocer but, as fate would have it, turned out to be a rapid transit this short of eye opening.
I'll allow that I really cant think. If ever I had something profound to say then I would have probably said it by now, that being said though, I do reserve the right to analyze things for myself from time to time. I guess that's the curse of being alive ,but in order to survive I guess I have to kind of reason things out. Tragically for everyone involved I know. It was during this train mash today though that someone shone the light on this poor sinner. I was able to wipe the crap out of my eyes for a fleeting nano-second but that's all it took. The beauty is in the breakdown. Suspending the inevitable question of being able to find any kind of intrinsic truth from an Enya song, allow me to progress. I found, that life is forever spinning. I believe someone once said that the only constant is change, which I found myself constantly trying to reconcile with what seemed to be the obvious facts of life, that being that it (life) is without concrete rhyme or reason with no real recourse available to find that information out. Okay, so it may seem obvious to someone who is just reading it, but for me it took a long time to figure out. But I believe what I have discovered is a liberating hands off theme as applied to living. That is to say that when those two ideologies are blended one can only come to the conclusion that life is mainly observable, and although we play a direct role in what we watch on our T.V. it is exclusively our responsibility to realize that we ( we as in the royal we) are all watching T.V. and therefore ( at least for all of my reckoning) no ones television viewership is that much better than anyone else's. For instance, there is large amounts of value in almost every stage of the game, and thus any pursuit is almost the equivalent of another. Not only does every experience shape and mold the way we witness other events in our life (granting it equivalent meaning) but furthermore it is just a show on your television, which doesn't make it more relevant or important than anything else or anyone's else's. Which I find kind of liberating. I find importance in that kind of connectivity. Enjoy, whole heartedly, just sitting on the couch. Ice Cube's life experience, although slightly more exotic than mine, cant be cashed in later for any "life money," as it were, so it depends on what he has observed and reveled in during that life. For whom and what he lived, to what extent did he love or to what degree was he loved?
Soooooo, I guess what I'm saying is that living is a congruent experience, just have a slice of it's pie. Of course, feel free to disagree with me, however I would appreciate it if you would do so in a format that didn't involve me for the simple reason that at this moment everything is kind of sitting pretty for me and I'd rather not mess with it.
In lighter news, the internet, Ameritrade, etc. seem to be back up so I guess tomorrows a go. Monday nights tend to feel a lot like being in the back of the line for the ice cream truck when all you really wanted was to just hang out with your friends in the line in the first place. I mean, couldn't you have hung out with them at the playground? But alas, the grind is the grind and we must tarry off to the places we will be from and eek out a living there, pining for the weekends, or the weekdays, that allow the toleration to continue, or maybe I just haven't found my calling or maybe I really like gin.
Aight, hustlas keep on moving what needs to be moved and remember I'm a pontificating senseless guy, who's into hip-hop and freely admits to the societal contradictions therewithin. Be real.

Just Checking

2005-12-10T19:15:00.000-08:00

I wanted to make sure i could re-post, and i can, beware, sit on and rotate.

Here's to the night

2005-12-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

About to head out...

I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the prospect of the evening. It seems like most everyone else is empowered by it, but as in most moments thus far in my life, i tend to feel frightened by the prospect of the potential.
Perhaps that paints me as to much of a wiener. Wiener or not I cant seem to shake the feeling that every evenings main variable is, inherently me, which in turn makes me hyper aware of myself. So I guess its probably my low self realization (number?) that makes me feel a little beleaguered by the prospect of an evening of recreation. I often find myself half drunk wondering what comes next. Which I believe is probably endemic of the problem I mentioned earlier, without an actual direction or reason, the drunks, and conversations seem to just pass by me too fast, I try harder than i should to compartmentalize and sort when instead I should be taking them at face value , and living/bathing in the moment.
But hey, I guess that's what tonight is all about. As you can tell this post is unabashedly opposed to having any consistency both in thought, spelling and punctuation. Which are all things that really are important to me on a sliding scale. By the by said scale is busy weighing the value of the things and I'm becoming more and more okay with that (namely the value of watching my father air box the fridge).
I believe, really, that the only thing getting to me could be the natural aphrodisiac that is the Chicago skyline. Really, most times I envision it to be some new Elvis Presley and I, a helpless women in his arms, via Jailhouse rock. However, if you want to talk vague intellectuality, which apparently I do, then it can really swallow you up. Earlier today I met Dennis Rodman, a man who in one day has seen more women naked than i ever will in my career as a peeping tom. I only mention that because in these evenings you meet some people whom can really illuminate a room, and most times you are stuck trying to screw a lightbulb in the back corner of a bar. Luckily, in my case, Im trying to screw that light bulb in the back of the bar, BUT with a huge cock. I guess it could be worse.
Well this, that, was my inaugural post. Again, I blame it in society.