Monsieur, there is a U in your pretension.

All,
So what If I have only been coming at you once a week as of late, so what is it's only one every two weeks? You think I don't have things going on in my life that are more important than pontificating on the days happenings with Internet strangers that (absolutely do not) masturbate to the very thought of me?

I'm sorry i didn't mean that. You know I don't have anything better to do. The pay for this blog is,actually, quite good I'll have you know. Why just the other day I was uptown when some bloke yelled, "Hey man, don't you write that blog?"

Me- "Yes."
Man given an air of supreme authority from his Snoopy shirt- "Fuck you."

So There you have it. Indisputable proof of this blogs incalculable success. As defined by me not,as of yet, going to jail and for the (RECORD!) 54th consecutive time out in public someone swore at me. You wouldn't think wearing a "Hitler was innocent," shirt would be so caustic.
(Ed. Note- Andrew is a large patriot and under no circumstances does he think Hitler was innocent...guilty, guilty, guilty they should rename guilty to be Hitler).

****

Let me tell you something dear reader, as I know it's been quite sometime since I spoke to you directly (sorry about canceling Friday but I really didn't want to see "Whose you Caddy!?") The Kinks are really an under appreciated band...truly ahead of their time. I know this probably comes as no surprise to you as I know my average reader is both a music fan and brighter than I am but still they kick an, almost, unparalleled amount of ass. Mind bending with three chord riffs their manipulation of guttural music rock and/or roll (and some surprising versatility on more melodic jams) left me both awed and astonished. Tough I didn't get to them before. Ah well, I was probably happy listening to Winger anyway.

****

Asides aside it is nice to be back on this text page. Holding at my mercy both these words and the precious few that read them for whatever reason.It is always tempting to be more abrupt and hate-filled in this blog. In fact I can surmise almost every popular blog in about three sentences. "Welcome to my blog, I fucking hate stupid people. Angelina Jolie (by the way both her first name and last name are ACTUAL WORDS in the blogger spell checker...I almost rest my case) is fucking hoTT, and there is a current trend in popular culture that bothers me but I enjoy catering to it."

Wow...got it in two.

Your welcome for the unapologetically mundane,without fire, blog you see before you. It takes a lot of work to suck. Tragically, it seems it also leaves you without a theme or talent.

That's something that suits me fine though, as I've been leading a life almost tirelessly dedicated to production without talent or skill. Let's see where this goes, it certainly has got to be better than my tree house....Check back regularly as my travels will in the next month take me to

A.) Europe
B.) New Orleans
C.)Your mothers house to show her how to live in a BIG HOUSE WITH FINE WINE AND CHEESES.*

cheers,
Andrew Simmons

*I don't particularly know what that means.


*****

int main()
{
cout << "Hello,Bloggers!"; return EXIT_SUCCESS; if (i=0; i {
cout << "Thank you."; }else{ cout << "screw off"; } } }