Here's to the night

About to head out...

I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the prospect of the evening. It seems like most everyone else is empowered by it, but as in most moments thus far in my life, i tend to feel frightened by the prospect of the potential.
Perhaps that paints me as to much of a wiener. Wiener or not I cant seem to shake the feeling that every evenings main variable is, inherently me, which in turn makes me hyper aware of myself. So I guess its probably my low self realization (number?) that makes me feel a little beleaguered by the prospect of an evening of recreation. I often find myself half drunk wondering what comes next. Which I believe is probably endemic of the problem I mentioned earlier, without an actual direction or reason, the drunks, and conversations seem to just pass by me too fast, I try harder than i should to compartmentalize and sort when instead I should be taking them at face value , and living/bathing in the moment.
But hey, I guess that's what tonight is all about. As you can tell this post is unabashedly opposed to having any consistency both in thought, spelling and punctuation. Which are all things that really are important to me on a sliding scale. By the by said scale is busy weighing the value of the things and I'm becoming more and more okay with that (namely the value of watching my father air box the fridge).
I believe, really, that the only thing getting to me could be the natural aphrodisiac that is the Chicago skyline. Really, most times I envision it to be some new Elvis Presley and I, a helpless women in his arms, via Jailhouse rock. However, if you want to talk vague intellectuality, which apparently I do, then it can really swallow you up. Earlier today I met Dennis Rodman, a man who in one day has seen more women naked than i ever will in my career as a peeping tom. I only mention that because in these evenings you meet some people whom can really illuminate a room, and most times you are stuck trying to screw a lightbulb in the back corner of a bar. Luckily, in my case, Im trying to screw that light bulb in the back of the bar, BUT with a huge cock. I guess it could be worse.
Well this, that, was my inaugural post. Again, I blame it in society.